Water Violet — Flower Essence for Exaggerated pride, Independence and Arrogance
Stating the qualities of a Water Violet person, Dr. Bach wrote:
”For those who in health or illness like to be alone. Very quiet people, who move about without noise, speak little, and then gently. Very independent, capable and self-reliant. Almost free of the opinions of others. They are aloof, leave people alone and go their own way. Often clever and talented. Their peace and calmness is a blessing to those around them.”
When it is dominant aspect of their personality these are people who are very independent and self sufficient. Their general attitude is ”live and let live”. When in balance, they are excellent support and company to others. They are capable of giving others attention, affection, time, advice and material goods, but unable to have that something be taken away from them: ”Don’t take it from me; I’ll give it to you myself ”. They solve all of their tasks and problems on their own, without asking for help, or relying on others, even when they are in serious trouble.
Water Violets are remarkably proud people. They are born aristocrats, superior by nature.
What can interfere with the inner-balance of these people?
The main conflict in this person is on the inside: the need for close emotional relationships with specific people, as any human being needs, at the same time gives rise to fear of losing one’s independence. If they fulfill the need for intimacy — they will fear losing their independence. If they maintain their independence — they will be alone, sometimes even lonely.
Their sensitivity to contact with very forward or rude people that invade others’ privacy, can be a significant source of frustration to them. Water Violet shies away from conflict. They feel that arguing or confrontation is beneath them. All they want is to escape such a situation or conversation. If such contact cannot be avoided, a Water Violet person feels threatened. The next level of defense is ignoring the presence of the other person. This disregard is a very unpleasant experience for the other person and because of this most of these people cease all one-on-one contact with a Water Violet person.
They have a need for intimacy, but not at any price, they choose their ”kindred spirits”. They are capable of giving advice or helping anyone, but one should not automatically assume that this implies closeness. Even in this close relationship with a kindred spirit, the respect the other person shows means more than their affection. Respect first, then all the other wonderful emotions.
They are very sensitive to torment, humiliation, invasion of privacy, receiving orders, pressure and anything else that might threaten their sense of personal autonomy and dignity.
Sometimes these types of people give the impression that they are pretentious, conceited, arrogant and unapproachable. In typical social situations, such as birthdays or someone‘s funeral, they are a bit rigid, lacking spontaneity, because they have to do what is expected of them (as is expected of others, but others do not have a problem with this, they agree to the rules). In these situations a Water Violet person is not genuine; they are forced to follow a code of conduct, while being very sensitive to pressure. This is the reason this highly sophisticated person may seem entirely inadequate in such ordinary social situations.
When pressed by rules or imposed intimacy, they react by withdrawing and creating distance. If withdrawal is not possible or effective, these highly sophisticated people can become very harsh (with arrogance or total disregard of the intrusive person) while trying to defend themselves. If that was not enough, Water Violet is known to unpleasantly comment on someone‘s behavior in an arrogant, snobby way, which is usually hard for the other person to take. This is the reason many people lose their courage and even their motivation when trying to have any sort of contact with a Water Violet person. People go their separate ways and Water Violet is left alone, which in itself is not a problem for them. A problem arises when they want to talk to someone, to go away for a weekend or to go on a holiday — that is when they realize they have no one to go with, no one is interested and that is when they feel so alone.
What does the remedy do?
The remedy helps balance these two opposing tendencies. It helps a person learn to be emotionally attached and intimate, while maintaining their sense of personal freedom and authenticity. This really is possible once a person learns good communication skills. The person gains experience (enabled by life or a Bach remedy) that not every external pressure, request or intimacy is ”by definition” a threat to their personal freedom and authenticity. In addition, when this person is in balance, when they do not push others away, when there is no arrogance and hostility, others around them feel the difference — they recognize the other person’s needs and take care not to violate their independence and dignity. So, the inner balance in Water Violet person provide her both, an intimacy and independence, so to say without any efforts.
