Scents and Sensitivities — Eau du Uber

Journal Entry #2
SCENTS AND SENSITIVITIES

Every passenger has a story to tell. Unfortunately, sometimes they have their own odor to share, as well. That is why a can of air freshener is an essential tool for the experienced driver. Even as I write this, I am still reeling from a the memory of a ride this past Sunday morning when Dora, on her way to work at Publix, for some reason chose to have a dead fish sitting on her lap.

There was one very memorable morning a while back when I had a string of particularly pungent passengers (known in our driver subculture as the Triple P.) Sometimes, themes (e.g. Triple P) emerge from a day of driving.

One of my first pickups was Sharon, a rather large woman, who was already agitated when she got in the car because I had not driven to her exact location. As she heaved herself into the car with great effort, she declared: “Usually, I text the driver to go around the block to pull up to the right entrance but I didn’t do it today.” I wasn’t sure how to apologize for not showing up at the location she did not share. Having been delinquent in my role as a driver in not reading her mind, I tried to repair our relationship by engaging in pleasant early morning repartee but Sharon was having not of that. She was going to be late for work. Her boss was an important downtown marketing guru and she had a need for speed.

Rather than plug in her destination, she decided to direct me with helpful suggestions like “Pass this car,” “Speed it up,” and my favorite, “Gun it through the red light” (which I did not). I was trying to be supportive when Sharon suddenly gasped, “I need air, I need air.” Being CPR certified, I was prepared to save her life but by the grace of the Almighty Speedster in the Sky, Sharon was not suffering a stroke; she was struggling with indigestion. A powerful smell began to arise up from her direction as she powered down the window. Poor Sharon had poofed a mighty poof. After that, she was surprisingly cordial for the rest of the ride.

My next two passengers had me feeling like I was driving a food truck rather than my humbly abused Subaru. Jamal was waiting at an AM/PM and when I pulled up and I was instructed to wait while he went in to purchase a meal. Drivers really love when this happens. The minutes tick by while you wait and wait, wondering what great fare you’re missing out on. When Jamal returned he not only had breakfast but he brought along a friend he met inside to help him chow down a significant amount of bacon. Yummmm! Between you and me, there is nothing like the smell of crisp dead pig swirling around a small space to give you a case of the happies. It was a bit overwhelming but Jamal was a satisfied customer and yes…I had my air freshener.

The next pick up for my food truck was a hotel. Here’s a secret. Drivers love hotels. We salivate at the thought that it could be a lift to the airport which is well worth your time. Alas it was Desmond who had just gotten off the night shift and was thoughtful enough to bring a sizable portion of the breakfast buffet into my car. The blend of aromas from the eggs, pancakes, and of course…bacon overwhelmed Café Subaru but Desmond too was a happy customer and yes…I had my air freshener.

Just when I feared that my olfactory nerves were going to collapse, I thought I was finally getting a respite when Juan got in the car. He had a thick Spanish accent and was older than he looked. Juan was working at a restaurant while saving to go to college. It was inspiring to listen to the story of this hard working immigrant and yet I was somewhat distracted by the scent of a soap from my childhood that starting to fill the chamber. What was it? Hmmm. Oh yeah, Irish Spring. Who still uses that stuff? Apparently, Juan did. A lot. So, out came the can of freshener once more.

By then, I was wondering if I was going to run out of Febreze when I took my last call of the day from William. There he was standing outside in a suit. Perhaps the streak of smelly customers had ended. He was a waiter at a restaurant near the Fox Theatre. Oh good, I thought, I can ask him about famous people he has seen. William was cagey about not dropping names but I quickly lost track of the conversation as the scent of cigarettes began to overwhelm the car. My freshener was spent and so was I.

Here are some Additional Fun Facts About Aromas:
#1. Many Indian graduate students at Georgia Tech enjoy a bountiful amount of cumin with their breakfast food selections. 
#2. Even if you are a stripper (that is another blog, trust me), the combination of chocolate and cigarette smoke is not a good one.

The Wrap Up
The way we dress is a statement about who we are. We often think about how we want to look or have to look on a particular day before selecting our clothes. Sometimes we dress to reflect how we’re feeling. But, we should not overlook the smell we want to wear as well. Our “eau du jour” (that means “smell of the day” for those who weren’t forced to take French by a pushy mom who had not anticipated the wave of immigrants from south of the border) also makes a statement about who we are. There are times, you will be remembered not because of your story or appearance but because of the unique aroma you decided to share. Make good choices.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK- Thanks to my growing fan base for sending in so many questions.

Dear SJBDriver: Aren’t you worried that by writing this very popular, well read blog, you could anger one of your previous clients? Sincerely, Number One Fan

Dear Number One Fan: I thought about that and so when I drive, I disguise myself so well that I know I won’t be recognized.

NEXT THURSDAY’S BLOG: Are You Really Coming On to Your Driver?!

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