8 Self-Coping Strategies to Address Mental Health Challenges
It can be challenging to shift perspectives, particularly when facing high levels of pressure, being intensely focused on a specific goal, and already having invested significant time and resources to obtaining that goal. During my first year of MBA in 2018, I was dealing with a challenging breakup, struggling with the recruiting process, coping with excessive drinking, feeling isolated from my family, and overspending while not earning any income. These factors all led to feelings of depression, triggering a downward spiral of negative emotions and self-destructive behaviors.
In early 2019, on a particularly challenging day, months after most of my classmates had already secured on-campus recruiting spots, I had scheduled two virtual informational interviews. While these sessions were not formal interviews, they felt crucial to me as they marked the starting points to securing an internship that was essential for various aspects of my life, including obtaining a work visa, achieving financial stability, and maintaining personal relationships. Despite realizing that my extensive preparation for these initial steps may not significantly alter the outcome, I dedicated hours to meticulous preparation each time, often watching the sun rise and set in the same seat in my studio. Although each call lasted less than 20–30 minutes, I spent about 10 hours preparing, meticulously going over every bullet point on my resume due to the pressure. Unfortunately, as the calls concluded on a disappointing note from the other end, I began to feel increasingly worthless, useless, and powerless.
On many of these difficult days, I found solace in going out drinking with a friend and engaging in repetitive discussions that provided temporary relief but ultimately exacerbated my negative emotions. The following mornings, due to the unchanged reality, my mood inevitably deteriorated. With the primary goal still out of reach, secondary issues continued to accumulate. For example, I started to feel heightened guilt and regret over my decision to live alone without a roommate to concentrate on interviews. I blamed myself for what I considered a poor choice, as it was accelerating the decline of my financial health without yielding significant results.
Additionally, I was fueled by a strong desire for success and a need for vindication against my ex-girlfriend and her family, who had not accepted me. My intention was to make them feel a sense of regret by showcasing my accomplishments. This determination pushed me to tirelessly chase my objectives, linking the (largely unsatisfactory) results with my self-esteem. Every informational interview became a pivotal moment that I could not afford to overlook. I felt that there were no other feasible options for me, and the weight of carrying out this strategy was immense.
The pressure, strong work ethic, and the relentless cycle of aggressive networking and disappointment, compounded by the scarcity of feedback, combined to foster a lingering sense of self-pity that proved challenging to overcome. As I grappled with the preliminary stages of recruiting while watching classmates forge ahead in their journeys, the weight of this comparison bore heavily upon me. The banking recruitment process appeared to intensify this struggle, crafted to demand candidates to prove their commitment and preparedness for the demanding responsibilities of the role. A recent post by a current MBA student on Reddit’s MBA subreddit succinctly captures the essence of this mindset:
I believe what aggravated my bad mood was the fact that I had the freedom to isolate myself completely and was self-prescribing coping mechanisms in ways that inadvertently worsened my mood.
For instance, still grappling with the aftermath of a past breakup, I frequently immersed myself in sad breakup songs and melancholic TV series. Incorporating a set number of sad songs into my daily shower routine, I sought catharsis from something that deeply resonated within me. I convinced myself that I could use the anger and sadness from the breakup as motivation to drive myself forward. In hindsight, after undergoing a series of therapy sessions to delve into the past, I realize that this approach was neither an effective coping mechanism nor a productive strategy for achieving my goals. Continuing down this path would undoubtedly result in a deterioration of my emotional well-being, even if there was a potential short-term increase in productivity.
Furthermore, I consistently kept the blinds closed because I was uncomfortable with the idea of someone from the opposite side being able to see into my apartment, especially since there were times when I might not be fully dressed after a shower. In hindsight, I understand that I could have easily spent less than a minute each day lowering and raising the blinds. However, at that time, I couldn’t justify investing time in such a seemingly ‘trivial’ activity that didn’t directly contribute to my immediate goals of securing a job. As a result, I often kept the blinds closed, missing out on sunlight, further isolating myself from the outside world, and potentially worsening feelings of depression.
Experiencing tunnel vision, the weight of disappointment continued to grow. To deal with this emotional burden and pressure, I decided to seek assistance from a counselor on campus. I had multiple sessions with a therapist named Dr. Gonzales at Columbia Health, and each meeting helped me feel better. Wanting to continue our sessions more regularly, I was disheartened when she informed me that her next available appointment was a couple of months away. She suggested a referral to someone off-campus, but I hesitated. Up until this point in my life, I had always received therapy for free on campus, starting from high school through college. The concept of seeking therapy off-campus had never crossed my mind, and the prospect of exploring options outside of the campus healthcare system was daunting. I also struggled with the idea of spending money on therapy to address my emotions alone, knowing that it could mean sacrificing time that could be spent on interview preparation or networking. Moreover, I was reluctant to start therapy with a new therapist as I had recently begun to open up and had established trust with Dr. Gonzales. The idea of managing the logistics of an off-campus location felt overwhelming, especially since I was already struggling to leave my home on a daily basis.
Alternatively, I often turned to my family and friends for support and advice regarding my struggles. However, despite their best intentions, I found that constantly discussing my issues only made me feel more overwhelmed and potentially strained my relationships. I started to feel guilty for burdening my parents with my problems, as their worry for me grew with each conversation. Additionally, our conflicting interests, such as their desire for me to return to Korea after graduation, only added to the pressure I felt to overcome my recruiting challenges.
Talking to friends back home about my experiences was also difficult, as I didn’t want to come across as boastful or make them feel envious of my situation. Many of them were focused on pursuing an MBA themselves, and I was afraid that discussing my current struggles may cause misunderstandings or strain our relationships. Similarly, discussing the recruiting challenges with MBA friends was equally complicated as were all ambitious, so a subtle sense of jealousy and competition precluded us from delving deep into these issues extensively despite our close bond. Those who had successfully navigated the recruiting process could only offer words of reassurance like “it will all work out” or “it’s a blessing in disguise,” providing me with some comfort but ultimately limited solace.
Looking back, I now realize that my family and friends did their best to support me during a difficult time, and for that, I am grateful. However, I also learned the importance of seeking additional sources of support and developing healthy self-coping mechanisms to improve my mental well-being. As I continued to address my loneliness, I recognized that my emotional struggles stemmed from a lack of connection. Although I wasn’t fully aware of the concept of mental health back then, I knew that feeling alone was a significant factor in my struggles. To combat these feelings, I often turned to dating apps as a way to feel valued and connected on a personal level, especially when I wasn’t prepared to meet someone in person. Engaging with potential matches online helped boost my self-esteem and alleviate some of my loneliness, offering a temporary escape from the stresses of everyday life.
In early 2020, during the COVID-19 outbreak, a team of Wharton students introduced an email-only dating platform called MBA Blind Love in several peer MBA programs. This platform was created to facilitate dating and foster personal connections during the pandemic. Through MBA Blind Love, I was matched with a student from Dartmouth Tuck without any prior knowledge of her appearance or ethnicity, and our email exchanges provided me with solace during my struggles with depression.
These interactions have inspired me to further explore various self-coping strategies. I expanded my list by interviewing 24 individuals, who were either current or former patients, to gain insight into their coping mechanisms. Following additional consultation and research, I curated a list of 8 coping strategies. These strategies can be employed either in conjunction with professional therapy as a supplementary method or by individuals experiencing milder symptoms who may not feel ready to undergo therapy at this time.
1. Engaging in Physical Activities
A study published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine in 2018 found that engaging in physical activities, such as running or weight training, was associated with significant improvements in mood, stress reduction, and overall mental well-being. The release of endorphins during physical activity was identified as a key factor contributing to these positive effects on mental health (Mammen & Faulkner, 2018).
While running or weight training can provide temporary stress relief and mood enhancement, they may not offer long-term solutions for deeper emotional or mental health concerns. In some cases, overly emphasizing specific fitness goals can even contribute to stress and worsen the situation. Physical activities should be seen as a valuable component of self-care alongside professional mental health interventions rather than a sole alternative to therapy if you believe you have a more serious underlying mental health issue.
2. Posting on Anonymous Communities
In their study “Mental Health Discourse on Reddit: Self-Disclosure, Social Support, and Anonymity,” the authors highlight the unique information needs that social media platforms like Reddit can fulfill in the context of stigmatized illnesses. They suggest that these platforms can play a role in expanding our understanding of the potential benefits of the social web in behavioral therapy (De Choudhury and De).
Reflecting on their experience with NOCD, Remy Mills (alias) stresses the importance of realizing that one is not alone in their struggles with OCD. Mills shares,
Reading about others’ experiences with OCD helps you realize that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to acknowledge and destigmatize your own struggles with OCD.
On the other hand, Jay Cho cautions that excessive time spent on online platforms can lead to temporary solace followed by increased feelings of depression. Cho notes,
Everyday, I would visit Reddit and find comfort in seeing others who were also recently laid off. But this comfort was fleeting. If I spent too much time reading their stories, I noticed that it started to have a negative impact on my mood, making me feel more depressed. That’s when I knew it was time to take a break.
While seeking support in anonymous online communities like Reddit and NOCD can provide individuals with a sense of belonging and validation, they may not offer complete solutions for addressing underlying mental health issues. It is crucial to maintain a moderate level of engagement and complement online community support with professional mental health services to ensure effective and comprehensive support.
3. Engaging with Strangers
It’s not always easy to open up to those closest to us, and that’s perfectly fine. Research conducted by Harvard sociologist Mario Luis Small revealed that individuals often seek support from strangers rather than their closest relationships when facing personal issues (Small). This challenges the traditional belief that strong bonds are the primary source of support, highlighting the importance of weak ties such as acquaintances and colleagues in providing comfort and understanding (Small). Reasons for avoiding confiding in loved ones may include the complex nature of those relationships, a preference for empathetic understanding over automatic warmth, or a desire to protect oneself during vulnerable moments (Small). Dr. Small’s research emphasizes the value of connecting with a diverse range of individuals, including strangers, to combat feelings of isolation (Small).
Therefore, engaging with strangers anonymously through platforms like Sincerely or Someone To Talk To can offer a safe outlet to share thoughts and feelings without the fear of judgment or revealing one’s identity. Anonymity allows individuals to express themselves freely and receive personalized 1:1 support from an unbiased source. The benefits of these applications include privacy, convenience, and a non-judgmental space to address personal challenges.
If you feel ready to open up, dating apps can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. These platforms provide opportunities for one-on-one interactions with potential strangers who may have an interest in connecting with you, potentially boosting your self-esteem when used in moderation and with caution.
A study conducted by researchers at Stanford Medicine revealed that users of dating apps have diverse motivations beyond simply seeking romantic partners. These motivations include a desire for social connectedness, entertainment, distraction, and coping with emotions (Bai). Through these platforms, individuals can build connections with others who share similar interests and values, fostering social relationships and companionship.
While dating apps can help expand social circles, facilitate romantic connections, and offer a distraction from negative thoughts, it is important to acknowledge that they may not directly address underlying mental health issues or substitute for professional therapy. Given the various motivations and influences on user satisfaction highlighted in the study, it is crucial to approach dating apps with a balanced perspective. They should be considered a supplementary tool for enhancing social connections and promoting mental well-being, rather than a sole solution for addressing mental health concerns (Bai).
4. Journaling
Journaling is a reflective practice that involves putting thoughts, feelings, and experiences on paper to process emotions and gain insights into one’s mental state. It allows individuals to track patterns, identify triggers, and clarify their thoughts and behaviors. The benefits of journaling include self-expression, self-awareness, and serving as a therapeutic outlet for emotional processing.
A study titled “Expressive Writing for Healing: A Randomized Controlled Trial to Determine Its Impact on Emotional and Physical Health Outcomes” in the Journal of Clinical Psychology supports the positive impact of expressive writing, like journaling, on emotional well-being, stress reduction, and improved psychological functioning (Niles). Participants engaging in expressive writing displayed enhanced emotional regulation and increased self-awareness compared to those who did not participate in the writing exercise (Niles).
6. Utilizing Meditation Apps
A study published in JAMA Internal Medicine in 2014 found that mindfulness meditation programs can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and pain (Goyal et al.). The researchers conducted a meta-analysis of 47 randomized controlled trials involving over 3,500 participants and discovered that mindfulness meditation programs were associated with moderate improvements in these areas (Goyal et al.).
Meditation apps such as Calm or Headspace offer guided meditation sessions that can help reduce stress and promote mindfulness. These apps are easily accessible from anywhere, affordable, and have the potential to enhance your daily mental well-being. It is important to note that these apps may not be as effective as in-person guided programs, especially for individuals looking for immediate and more significant solutions to their mental health issues. They are most effective when incorporated into your daily routine over an extended period.
7. Traveling
Although I acknowledge that this may not be feasible for all readers, traveling can provide a change of scenery, new experiences, and a respite from everyday stressors. This can create opportunities for personal growth and relaxation. Exploring different places, cultures, and environments can refresh the mind and facilitate self-discovery.
A study published in the Journal of Travel Research in 2013 found that travel can have a positive impact on mental health and well-being. The researchers conducted a survey of 849 adults and found that individuals who engaged in more frequent and diverse travel experiences reported higher levels of life satisfaction, positive emotions, and overall well-being. The study also highlighted the importance of travel in promoting personal growth, self-discovery, and stress reduction. Overall, the research suggests that travel can be a valuable tool for improving mental health and promoting overall well-being (Chen and Petrick).
8. Engaging with a Pet
While I understand that not everyone may also find this option as unfeasible, speaking from personal experience, it can truly make a difference, especially during overwhelming times. While owning a dog may bring about additional financial and emotional stress, the companionship and responsibilities they offer can serve as a positive distraction. Additionally, having a pet can increase social interactions during walks and potentially deter individuals from making drastic decisions when they have a furry friend relying on them. If pet ownership isn’t viable, consider pet-sitting for a friend or utilizing services like Rover for extra income.
“The Effects of Animals on Human Health and Well-being” published in the Journal of Social Issues, supports the positive impact of pets on mental well-being by providing social support, reducing loneliness and depression, and promoting physical activity (Wells). Pets also play a significant role in offering comfort and companionship to those facing mental health challenges (Wells).
Conclusion
Drawing from my personal journey, I firmly believe that individual therapy with a trained professional is the most impactful method for addressing mental health challenges at their core. However, navigating the process of finding and committing to therapy can be overwhelming, especially considering barriers like cost that may deter individuals from seeking help immediately, whether they are new to therapy or have previous experience. In some circumstances, discussing certain issues with family or friends may not be feasible, further underscoring the importance of finding alternative support systems.
As a temporary measure, a complement to therapy, or a means of managing milder symptoms, I encourage you to explore self-coping mechanisms that resonate with you. The strategies presented in this article are intended as a resource to assist you in identifying coping mechanisms that suit your needs and aid in your journey toward reclaiming a fulfilled life.
While these alternatives can offer relief and support, it is essential to acknowledge that if your symptoms persist or worsen, relying excessively on one method may not be sufficient. In such instances, seeking professional assistance is paramount in addressing underlying issues effectively. Integrating a tailored self-coping strategy within a holistic mental health plan, alongside personalized guidance from qualified mental health professionals, is crucial for your long-term well-being.
In future articles, I will delve deeper into the efficacy of each solution presented in this article to provide a comprehensive understanding of their impact on mental health management.
Sources
- Mammen, George, and Guy Faulkner. “Physical Activity and the Prevention of Depression.” American Journal of Preventive Medicine, vol. 45, no. 5, Nov. 2013, pp. 649–657, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2013.08.001.
- De Choudhury, Munmun, and Sushovan De. “Mental Health Discourse on Reddit: Self-Disclosure, Social Support, and Anonymity.” Proceedings of the International AAAI Conference on Web and Social Media, vol. 8, no. 1, 16 May 2014, pp. 71–80, https://doi.org/10.1609/icwsm.v8i1.14526. Accessed 14 Nov. 2022.
- Mario Luis Small. SOMEONE to TALK to : How Networks Matter in Practice. S.L., Oxford Univ Press, 2019.
- Bai, Nina. “Satisfaction with Online Dating App Depends on What You’re Looking For.” Scope, 6 July 2023, scopeblog.stanford.edu/2023/07/06/satisfaction-with-tinder-depends-on-what-youre-looking-for/.
- Goyal, M, et al. “Meditation Programs for Psychological Stress and Well-Being: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” Deutsche Zeitschrift Für Akupunktur, vol. 57, no. 3, 2014, pp. 26–27, www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0415641214008492, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dza.2014.07.007.
- Niles, Andrea N et al. “Randomized controlled trial of expressive writing for psychological and physical health: the moderating role of emotional expressivity.” Anxiety, stress, and coping vol. 27,1 (2014): 1–17. doi:10.1080/10615806.2013.802308
- Chen, Chun-Chu, and James F. Petrick. “Health and Wellness Benefits of Travel Experiences.” Journal of Travel Research, vol. 52, no. 6, 17 July 2013, pp. 709–719, https://doi.org/10.1177/0047287513496477.
- Wells, Deborah L. “The Effects of Animals on Human Health and Well-Being.” Journal of Social Issues, vol. 65, no. 3, Sept. 2009, pp. 523–543, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.2009.01612.x.
