Don’t ask for advice from the wrong people

Generally speaking we use our close relationships to seek advice about various aspects of our lives. When we are not happy at work, when we are sad or when we just want to vent or talk.

But are they the right people we should be talking to?

It’s said that from the people you talk to about your problems, 20% of them don’t care and 80% are glad it’s not them. But do these include your close friends and family? The unfortunate answer is yes. Your friends and family are people too and they have their own problems to worry about and your just adding to the pile.

You may be better off speaking to people going though the same thing but watch out of that negative energy “complaining all the time”. Do watch out that your not creating a venting and bitter group of people that just blame everything on everyone else. Talk to people who can help you get out of your situation.

If something is really bothering you then stop talking about it and start doing something about it. Talking about it won’t change anything. If your unhappy with your job then change it.

While speaking to someone, have you ever felt as though your speaking to a rock. Yes, they might be your friend or loved one but maybe they just aren’t the right person to talk to. They may love you to bits but that doesn’t make them the right person.

Before you talk to someone, ask yourself, What do I want out of this conversation? If you just want to vent or talk, then that’s OK. Find the right person to vent or talk to. At times we feel unsatisfied with the people we talk to about what pains us. But maybe we feel unsatisfied because we did not articulate what we want out of the conversation but we are unhappy when we don’t get it.

At times we talk to people about what irks us, seeking a complete understanding from the other person. We expect that a person not going through what your going through will completely understand and feel your pain and possibly have the answers for you or even tell you how right you are. But there’s only you, who can feel exactly as you feel. The people around you can only empathize with you. You are the expert of your own issues.

Next time when you speak with someone and you see that they just don’t get you, just ask yourself, “am I speaking to write person?”. And if not, then just thank them for their time and walk away.

So stop talking about how the world has done you wrong and start doing something about it.