a different version of you

I’m sorry I lied when I said I wasn’t looking to date anyone else. I didn’t know it was a lie when I said it. all the times I said it, in response to all the times you asked. it wasn’t until the end that I realized it wasn’t the truth.

because what I finally figured out is that although I really did like you, I liked you in pieces. I liked you in parts. the sum total of you just wasn’t quite my cup of tea. funny, I don’t really like tea, either. or coffee for that matter…I’m sorry; I digress. I do that sometimes. but you know this. I wonder if that’s one of those pieces of me you didn’t like…? huh, that’ll be something for me to think about…anyway. what I mean to say is that I wanted you; but I wanted a different version of you.

I guess everyone is that way; aren’t they…? if not, it may just be be me who’s an asshole, though I’m not entirely discounting that as a possibility anyway. we like what we like and we like things in a particular combination. variations on a theme are okay, but not really what we had in mind. which then ends up being all we can think about after a while.

it’s kind of like me picking the olives and roma tomatoes off of an otherwise fine veggie-lovers pizza at the local restaurant. I’d have loved the pizza even more without those two particular toppings, but that’s not the way that it’s made. and yes, I keep ordering it, and yes, I keep eating it. but each time I do I find myself annoyed at those extraneous additions. when I’ve asked them to not make it that way, they just look at me disbelievingly. kind of the way you’re looking at me now…