Many of us have heard the line “failure is the stepping stone to success” as young kids. Recently, while reading Matthew Syed’s ‘Black Box Thinking’ I realized that I had never consciously thought about the import of that statement.

We tend to overemphasize success, whereas success is just the tip of the iceberg — what lies unseen beneath is a huge mountain of failure. Although we know that failure is such an important key to success, the irony is that we continue to stigmatize those who fail.

The single most powerful force that acts to thwart our enthusiasm to learn, to live our lives to its fullest, and, even to love unconditionally is fear of failure. I was afraid of falling off the bike and hence, had not learnt to bike until very late in my childhood. But in the summer after wrapping up my sixth grade, when the desire to bike had overpowered my fear of getting hurt, it took me only a few days — and, several wounds on my elbows and knees — to learn to bike. And that’s not it, once I had learnt the art of balancing my body, I had quickly moved on to roller skating and then to even inline skating! When I moved to Berkeley last year, I was very excited to pick up skateboarding, which is a part of the Bay Area culture— and have enjoyed every bit of that experience.

I have been practicing meditation on the Hare Krishna maha-mantra for the past seven years of my life. It is very important for me as it is the source of my ability to care for and love others. During some phases of my life I have been able to meditate in the wee of hours of morning, whereas during other phases I have struggled to live up to my commitment. My failures have motivated me to improve - to organize and prioritize things in my life in a better way so that I am on track to fulfill my commitments.

Failure is good as it is also meant to foster within us an attitude of gratitude. You don’t lose when you can’t achieve your goals, but when you choose to not give it another try. You lose when you choose to hold up your own ego and let a person you cared for go away. You lose when you stop loving — both yourself and others. Failing is not losing, failing is practicing to become greater than who you are today!