To the Pastor Who Questioned My Faith
I don’t have to write a list of reasons people are turned off from the church for anyone to get it. I can’t even say that you turned me off from the church, but to you I have a few things to say. To the pastor that questioned my faith, I still pray for God to bless my dinner every night. You made it a point at a church gathering at my house to say in front of everyone “you don’t have to ask God to bless your food” after I asked everyone to join in as we prayed for the blessing of our meal. I attended youth group faithfully. I went to prior mission trips and I went to all the studies you asked us to go to. I had my own relationship with God. During a missions trip you pulled me out of the group and bullied me into thinking I complained about serving when my heart was full of joy from all the work we were doing. You said I was being disrespectful to you without giving me reasons as to how that could be true. To this day I still don’t know what I did wrong. I joined the youth leadership team after you prompted me to when I had my doubts. I read the book you asked us to read. I had my disagreements with the author. You asked us for our input and told us you wanted us to be open at the meetings. There were things you said that I questioned and didn’t agree with and so I brought them up during a team meeting. You told me to keep it to myself; it was inappropriate to question him in front of the rest of the team. A few Sunday’s later you told me I should step down from the leadership team. You told me that I couldn’t go on the missions trip because my relationship with God “wasn’t good enough”. I cried. I stopped going to the youth group and eventually the whole church. I want you to know that this didn’t turn me away from God. I still have my faith and I know that I no longer need to be angry or bitter towards you because we all have to answer for our own wrongs. I’m not perfect and I have my days of weak faith, but that isn’t from you. You were just one piece to the puzzle. Even though you walk around with a clear concience, I’m not going to question your faith. And to the pastor that questioned my faith, I have faithfully and truthfully forgiven you.
