Instead of writing here about my emotions regarding to my break up I decided to instead write it on my personal notebook. I should have written here because it may have helped others but maybe it’s better that I wrote on my personal journal just because I probably would have sounded like a maniac. An emotional freak. A crazy maniac! Completely out of my ordinary character. So, am I ok? No, far from it! It has gotten easier because the pain I felt in my heart before has decreased but now the thoughts are crazier than ever.

Regret. Did I make the wrong choice?

Suffering from “what if”.

  • Sleepless nights. Many of them.
  • I have lost so much weight that comments about it has become a daily thing for me. I try to eat but even the water that I drink don’t taste good anymore.
  • I feel like I have aged so fast physically.
  • And so many more things.

I’m new to this love thing and it has completely messed up my view in everything that I believed on. I have fear for love now. I have never seen it as a gambling thing before but honestly I think u can win more on gambling than love. What a powerful thing love is; have I been naive before?! I feel like a child at times and I must admit that I’m 28 years old. And I never knew just how powerful love is. I don’t know when I will feel okey and if I ever will get back my trust into love again. I have googled, read books, YouTubed, talked with strangers about heartbreak and how to overcome it, but nothing has helped. I’ve even tried to tell myself to go out and do things but I stopped because it’s fake. Because it hurt more when I woke up next day to my reality. So, can anyone tell me what to do next? I really feel like I have tried everything.

It really feels like a heartbreak is something that no one can help you with. I maybe should put my trust in the time of natural healing. I just feel like my own thoughts are gonna make me mental sick soon.