Dear world: do NOT follow Australia’s policy on asylum seekers

Earlier this week, Australia’s prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull, took the extraordinary step of recommending world leaders follow Australia’s policy of treating asylum seekers like criminal invaders.

Ironic given that Australia is the way it is due to a criminal invasion, but let’s not go down that path right now…

If you were unaware, Australia’s policy is that if you risk your life to come here by sea, you’ll be detained in appalling offshore detention centres. You’ll be held indefinitely and you’ll never be allowed into Australia — even if your claim for asylum is legitimate.

After the paragraph above it seems almost foolish to continue on with this article, right?

I mean, do you really need more reasons why your governments shouldn’t follow Australia’s example? If anything, this article should be a list of Australian slang terms to use so you can tell the next Australian politician you meet to fuck right off.

But if Turnbull has the gall to stand up in front of the UN and recommend other countries abuse human rights will nilly, I think I better continue.

Six reasons the rest of the world should NOT follow Australia’s policies on asylum seekers

1. The UN thinks our policies are shit

Turnbull is telling world leaders to follow his party’s policies in a forum where they have been routinely condemned.

And it’s not just the ‘liberal’ countries doing the condemning, either. Even fucking North Korea expressed concern about how we’re treating asylum seekers.

Oh, but apparently in Australia we’re sick of the UN lecturing us. Hopefully the UN gets sick of Turnbull’s lecturing real quick and sits his stupid arse down.

2. It causes asylum seekers to routinely self-harm

Self-harm in offshore detention is an epidemic.

In Nauru, someone commits an act of self-harm every two days. And that’s just what’s reported. Incidents include people swallowing razor blades, trying to hang themselves, eating poison, and many more.

These are resourceful people who are put in untenable conditions. They want their basic human rights and since they don’t have an infinite amount of patience, they’re taking drastic action.

Imagine a policy where their resourcefulness could be used to help Australia’s economy instead

3. And the ones not self-harming, are being harmed by the guards

Leaked reports show there have been over 2,000 reported incidents of harm in detention centres. They are harrowing to read and to hear about. Really they’re a national shame, not something to be fucking promoting around the UN.

The harm inflicted ranges from rape, to threats, to fucking waterboarding!

And before you double check, I’m talking about Nauru and Manus Island not Guantanamo.

4. It’s not just the adults, it’s the kids too

Firstly: yes, Australia’s policy includes detaining children indefinitely.

But that’s not bad enough because those children are being abused at an even greater rate than adults. 51.3% of the reports of abuse involve children, even though children only make up 18% of the asylum seekers in detention.

And it’s not like the Australian government doesn’t know about it. There have been plenty of warnings and recommendations urging immediate action.

5. Fucking people over is also really expensive

You might have missed the link above about the positive impact refugees and migrants have had on Australia.

Turnbull’s policy on asylum seekers is the polar opposite. It’s reported to have cost Australia $9.6 billion over four years. And is predicted to cost a further $5.7 billion in the next four. Australia is currently spending billions to stop people from contributing to our economy… Genius.

6. It completely fails to provide ANY asylum to ANYBODY

Turnbull’s ridiculous speech centred on the argument that by putting people in indefinite detention, Australia can control who comes into the country. Therefore, they can allow more refugees in ‘legitimately’.

He goes on to pat himself on the back because by fucking over of one group of asylum seekers, Australia can oh so generously take in 12,000 other asylum seekers from Syria and Iraq.

Only problem is, Australia has only taken in 30 of those 12,000.

In effect, they’ve caused incredible physical and emotional harm to hundreds of people in offshore detention and simultaneously failed to provide asylum to people even they believe deserve it.

Australia’s policy in three easy steps:

1. indefinitely detain those that make it to the country

2. don’t process the people who are seeking asylum elsewhere in the world

3. don’t let in even the people we’ve promised asylum to.

Take note, rest of the world: how NOT to do asylum seeker policy.