Just a bad day, or routine?

It’s 6 0'clock on a Thursday evening. I’ve been through all of my scheduled classes and labs for the day. I feel completely tired, no energy left to do anything. On my way to the hostel, I glance through the football field. It is full of energy, unlike me. Students and small children running playfully. I would usually come back to the playground after changing my clothes, but today, I know I would have to skip to study through the night and try to complete my assignment, and also to save myself from the guilt.I know that its not unproductive to play, but I’m simply drained and famished. I know I should go to the fruit shop as I’m hungry, but I rather decide to eat the sweets mom sent from home. There is street play workshop going on in hostel lawns. My hostel-mates call me to join in. I tell them I’ll come after keeping my bag in the room, a lie I know as I speak. I take a full 2 hours nap, feeling somewhat refreshed. As soon as I wake up, a friend comes asking if I want to join him for library. I say I might come later. I am silent, I am scared, I am certainly not enjoying. Aren’t we supposed to enjoy our education? Or is it the other way round — shouldn’t we be educated about things we enjoy? Is this just the period that I will thank later in my life to help me grow, or is the stress setting in about how ordinary- rather below average I am at these subjects. These subjects that I’m studying because I got a certain rank in a competitive exam to get into the best college of the country. Or, is this all just to say that I’m not willing to work hard and not availing the opportunities available to me? I put down my pen and diary now, as I have to focus on my assignment.