This morning, I had little argument with my eldest daughter about the fact that she couldn’t take her sister’s toys and hide it, as she will not enjoy it if her sister does it too.

After this argument and the feeling of injustice that she expressed (because she couldn’t have the toy she wanted), I asked myself if she will remember such moments like this one, when she will grow up.

I tried to remember what memories I have from my childhood and if it was positive or negative memories, here are my 5 most powerful memories from childhood :

1. I’m laying down in a car, between the front seats and the back seats. I’m crying. The car is going fast. I have no idea where we are going, but I feel pain. I discussed about this memory with my mum and she told me that I was 1 year old and I had a septicemia and needed to be treated in emergency. It wasn’t a good memory at all, even if I can’t explain it, I felt it. I visited many times the hospitals between 1 and 3.
2. I’m 6 or 7 and I’m in the South of France, in my grandparents house, in the middle of the lavender fields and olive trees. We are many kids and at night, while the adults are drinking some hot drinks on the terrace, we are running up to the attic, that is warm like hell, and open the little windows to look at the stars. We are trying to recognise it, we are watching the moon and telling each other some stories. The time stops running, we are together and we are enjoying this moment, without the parents, trying to listen to the stars.
3. I’m 8 and our neighbour just died. Death is something new for me and I don’t completely understand it. I spent some time at his house with his kids. He had a leukemia. We prayed a lot for him with my mum and she proposed me a great image to accept death : imagine Jesus, arms opened, in a bright light, welcoming him. This image never left me and this is how I went across the loss of friends and family.
4. I’m 9 and I’m in a scout camp, with girls like me. In order to protect my self from others, I’m acting like a boy. I’m proud because I can carry more wood than anyone, so we can have a great fire for the night! Everybody congratulate me and my team leader is very proud as well. Later, my scout godmother will tell me something that changed my life : to be my self and not to hide behind a character. She was the first to see me as I am and to encourage me to act like a girl.
5. I’m 13 and I’m at my best friend’s house, with his family. His father works at Bell and he has a computer. We spend a sunny afternoon exploring this new machine, playing with some games and trying to understand how that works. I’m fascinated by the way he gets this so quickly! Later, we will play a lot on GTA, Micromachine (very hard!) and Nibbles. Emmanuel was a very important person for me, he helped me realized that I can understand Maths and Sciences with simple analogies. He is now a teacher in an engineers school and is doing it brilliantly.

Those memories are not all happy, some are pretty sad and always related to diseases...

I hope my kids will recall the laugh, the great week-ends together, the holidays with my mum, the long discussions about the World, the homework we are doing together and the stories before bed.

I know I’m not the best mum in the World, that I’m working hard and coming late at night, but I wish they will recall some positive moments that make them grow and be good people.