Let me take you to the mountains!

A couple of years ago we visited Auli, which along with Dehradun, hosted the first South Asian Winter Games in 2011. Due to the event, the Uttrakhand tourism had invested heavily on the ski resorts and so we stayed cheap yet lavishly with not one but two room split heaters of our own and a pool room to exploit — which is kind of a big deal for govt hotels in India. Bearing that in mind, as our travel companions were same as that of Auli, we had high expectations from JK too, our driver — the Kashmiri being our tour package manager. So keeping our chest high and hopes higher we entered our rooms in Pehlgam.

Honestly my single hostel room at B.I.T.S Pilani, even the study of our B.S.P quarter in Bhilai seemed larger than that room. King-sized bed which made creeking sounds — suggesting, it was domiciled to a poltergeist — Razai with intricate flower designs and different kinds of Kashmiri odours, a 1970s television set which compelled my mother to listen to those 1970s bollywood songs at 11 pm, and the bathroom, the size of my computer desk; we learned that day never to go on a one man tour package how sweet his talks may be.

While we were being spoiled by the magnificent view of Kashmiri insects, opening the windows opened our eyes. We came to know that our hotel boasts the best panoramic view of the mountains, the river and the Pehlgam. Straight down you will see the blue-green, pure as a dove, Lidder river, making its way across the village of Pehlgam with locals busy with their horses, making tourists damn hot maggi and tea, and the children, jumping up and down in trampoline. Looking straight away from the village, you will find the finest pine forest of Kashmir which continues till the Aru valley and beyond. Up beneath the blue sky you will see the snow clad mountain peaks within the reach of your hands.

Yellow gay when the first drop of Sun-ray hits it, sombre grey when the clouds adamantly come down, pure milky white when the weather listens to you and stays clear — the sight of these mountains helped us cheering our moods and digesting our foods. Soon the rooms had become as warm as my hostel room, and the food, as cold and homely as my hostel mess; we decided to make the best of it and thereafter the lost peace was found.

The people of Kashmir villages are very poor, tourism being their only source of daily bread.

The next day, after an hour of figuring out how to get the ladies of our group atop the horses, we were off to 5 hours trip of literal pain in the bottom. Mile after mile of meadows with yellow and white wild flowers like a very costly wild carpet trapped between the infinite pine forests; the moment we stopped, the girls were handed with rabbits by the locals before we could refuse. After rigorous session of photography for apparently FB DP with those billowy white animals we were asked to give some money, but be prepared to be asked for more, however much you give.

Moving on to a waterfall, climbing its way to the top of the hillock to another meadow named ‘Mini Switzerland’ as the locals had called it and then back to the hotel, the route was truly horrifying and amazingly worth it. The horse on its own will take you to some of the steepest corners and will not listen to you however much you pull your poll strap. It is best to sit tight and let the nature take its course. Mind your legs when you collide with a tree, two trees, a rock, another horse, a human being or a gigantic 4 wheel-drive car because these collisions are bound to happen unless you are a fully grown adult man and can pull the rope with the use of all those hard worked muscles. All those sessions of early morning workout finally pays off (if you are still abstained from your better half).

The valleys of Kashmir from Pehlgam comprise of the Aru and the Betaab valley, the two beauties of Kashmir, something which you will not find in Uttrakhand or Himachal Pradesh. The pine trees are the same, the temperature is same and so are the mountains,viz. the Himalayas.

But the way the mountain rises straight up from the valley and the carpet of green grass which covers the land is something indigenous to Kashmir only.

Situated at about 30 miles in different direction, we had the taste of both of them. These are the kind of places where you will have to lie down, leave all your electronic necessities in your bag turned off and stay there for atleast a night — obviously in a hotel — leaving behind the track of time and just observe the nature with your family in peace. Forget all the office workload, forget your due essay, presentation, forget all about who is getting married and the free food, and how much sale is on your favorite dress; not an easy task for a newbie traveler. But that is what travelling is all about!

You might have heard ‘travelling makes you a better person’, but how?

It makes you stronger, it makes you meet new people, it makes you fall in love, it makes you passionate towards life, it makes you try out new things, things you never would have done back home, so that when the time comes you can say “ I did it all”. You owe every second that this world can give. Cycling, walking, trekking, skiing, rafting, snowboarding, surfing, paragliding etc, so many new experiences to try and so little time in hand; travelling makes you live your life to the fullest.

II

Meanwhile my dad lost his phone! Writing it in a different paragraph to highlight the depth and the gravity of the situation; both that all the contacts to hotels, drivers etc were lost and that my dad too can make mistakes! Having a guilt laugh over it while sipping comfortably the finest coffee Kashmir has to offer, this incident kept a good gossip going while my dad alone searched for his phone all the way to Aru valley. Unable to find the needle in the haystack, disappointed but not lost over headache, he returned after enjoying the valley for the second time only to find his phone, a phone call away. But due to national security, that day even B.S.N.L post paid was out of service for a couple of hours and that resulted in dad’s second trip to heaven.

Nevertheless, a local photographer who fights through his life of poverty, found it lying on the road near the restaurant where we had our rich dinner. Returning the phone honestly and after singing to him the word ‘thank-you’ , we had a notion about Kashmiris.

Though being violent at times as we experienced in the hills of Sonmarg, they are very poor and honest. Though our driver took a hell lot of commission and maneuvered us, it is his only way of income. And a poor person will do anything to earn his bread and hence the violence.

They will follow you and nag you to DEATH to ride on a sledge or take a photograph in Kashmiri dress. They will ruin your adventurous atmosphere and peace of mind, the only reason why you travel thousands of miles to places like Kashmir, spending thousands. But you can’t blame them. The only way is to refuse sternly and not paying attention but still, all kinds of death are painful.

Back in Srinagar, far-far away from the Dal Lake and its pleasant aroma, the aroma of sewage, we had a stay of three nights in a mountain view room, the mountain or rather the hillock being too far-far away. (Obviously it was just the smell of the stagnant water, no harm in thinking positive! The govt. and the natives have done their best to keep the lake clean and sewage free through sewage systems in houseboats.)

A Bihari cook, janitor, manager and worker, serving hot food straight from ‘tawa’, he was a one man army and made our stay at ease and wonderful, considering the long trips we underwent during the wee hours; and the cook always gratified and charmed us with his hot ‘alu ka paratha’ at six in the morning. As everybody's beloved rock legend, Led Zepplin never failed to impress us with his legendary songs ‘Stairway to Heaven’ and my personal favourite ‘Kashmir’, Kashmir also never fails you with its stairway to heavens being the Gulmarg, the Sonamarg and the not so popular but my favourite, Doothpathri; the three places we visited in order.

Gulmarg was very beautiful and the journey through pine trees and yellow flowers was exemplary. It prides in world’s highest golf course which in winter, when covered with snow, converts itself into a skiing-learning-haven. Had it been winter, we would have also barreled into learning that sport; but as in summer, all we could do was scrutinize the greenery and stroll around in search of golf-balls and snow with a magnifying glass. I could rail against how hyped Kashmir is in summer. It doesn't matter, though. It is unfair to compare Kashmir to Auli, something which we realized later. Howsoever, here is a gist of how one feels in summer —

• Gulmarg without snow is not a Gulmarg, the skiing capital of our country.
• Don’t let them fool you, there will be very little snow at the top during May and June.
• To get there you have to first walk two miles on horse’s shit(the road).
• You have to shell out 1600 bucks per person for the gondola.
• The snow will be dirty and hard, obviously not the fresh-fall.

The waiting in the line for the tickets of 2nd phase Gondola, oh what can I say! The worst thing in Kashmir. Worse than losing your phone.

Two hours of standing at the same place beneath the sun and the queue does not move forward. Infact you move backwards! Why? Well if you are rich and got extra thousand bucks to spare, give it to a local and he will usher you to the starting of the queue and you will have tickets in your hands in seconds. Some have that luxury and hence the others stay in one place unless they decide to become traffic guards and assault the locals who pull these stunts. The French helped build the gondola but only guides and locals and extra bucks can help with the queue. We died a thousand deaths, the deaths of a coward for not hiring the illegal guides. By the time you climb in the gondola, you will be sweating like a pig and your brain will have become an omelet by the heat of the sun and the nuisance. You will think that a fully cooked omelet is not bad eh! When you reach 13000 feat, that omelet will even cook slow due to lack of pressure and temperature. With the hot sun-ray falling directly on your head, and the cold snow numbing your feet and the not so ready omelet due to the exertion and the lack of oxygen and place to sit, you will have a bad headache that night.

Why Gulmarg will be heaven in winter and spring?

• There will be snow everywhere.
• That means riding the gondola wont be a necessity.
• There will be too many foreigners for skiing and then there will be you.
• There will be discipline due to foreigners and hence the system of queue will work.

• There will be powder snow, most apt for skiing and playing with.
• And there will be professionals and you will watch them ski with awe. So your experience will be once in a life time.
• And did I mention there will be foreigners!

III

Next comes Sonamarg. Being one of the two gate-ways to Ladakh, the scenery was enjoyed both by us, and by the convoy of hundreds of bikers. Donned in leather Jackets and GoPro attached to their helmets; our car was being overtaked by the Royal Enfields like the queen among the swarm of worker honeybees. The pure white Sind river followed us all the way up to the Sonamarg. There was no hint of snow clad mountains until the road bent a blind corner and all of a sudden, gigantic white mountains rose in front of our eyes. We stared at it in awe while putting on snow-boots. And then as we took the rented jackets in our hands, fate took the matter into its own.

After travelling 70 miles, when one dosen’t get a proper public convenience, his temper rises till the proteins of his brain gets denatured.

Better do the business at any roadside dhaba located midway down where the rafting business starts, or behind a bush, because in Sonamarg they take 10 bucks for the pathetic WC. If a man accidentally does visit it, will regret it for the rest of his life.

It was very painful to see the Thai gentleman going in there, the same gentleman whose 30 kg bag fell from the roof of the Xylo which was always ahead of our car, and the same gentleman who bought us all cups of tea as a token of thankfulness for I was the one who picked up that monster bag to our roof, and returned it to the driver after he got tired of honking at the trucks in the traffic jam, and finally pulled its hand brake.

Bidding him goodbye and putting on the snow-boots, we found our-self on top of horses which would take us to the glacier, but instead, it took us on an experience of hatred, hatred towards a young guy, a guy who won’t listen to his mates. Snobbish and ill-mannered bloke who took his hands on managing three horses at once; unable to manage them, one of the horse escaped from his hands. One, which had our travel-companion-family-head-with-back-pain on it.

The horse, on discovering its new-found freedom, decided to show its rider some of its finest talents, and instead of jumping over the railings like those horses in races jump, this particular horse stooped and tried to slid below the railing. But it couldn’t as a full grown man was sitting on it!

Stuck by the railing on his stomach, the gigantic muscles in the legs of this sturdy horse was trying its best to move forward and the man sitting on top was getting squeezed and sliced like knife on butter. Now if the guides here ever tell you never to lose your grip and glue your hands on the saddle, situation like these demands nail-polish-remover so that your hands come unstuck. Letting go of the rope and removing foot from the saddle, he jumped behind; the horse completed showcasing its move by sliding under the railing and in no time, started eating grass.

Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side!

That hungry bastard with no brain — the teenage boy, I mean, not the horse — wanted to become a daredevil, taking everything under his control, ended up being only devil, hated and rebuked by everybody. Lucky he was that the foot of the man-with-backbone-pain was not stuck in the saddle. Otherwise he would have also tasted grass.

The mischief of these mercenary men was not over yet, as we were taken up not to the glacier, but to a riverside stall some distance before the final destination. We were told to walk further to the snow if we desired. Watching the movie ‘Final Destination’ is never easy, just as it was not easy for us to digest the fact that we were being betrayed as still the snow was a mile or two away. And the men with sledges and their nagging to death added the cherry on top of the iced cake. We were not interested; nevertheless, they took our money, and we even had to walk for the rest of the two miles.

Believe me, the mountains of Sonamarg are the most beautiful mountains in the Kashmir and the people of the Sonamarg are of the worst kind. Now you cannot look at a scenery in a computer monitor with very high contrast for long. Can you? Similarly we couldn’t enjoy the scenery, the contrast being too damn high, the contrast of the people juxtaposed with the mountains and the contrast of the sun and the rain.

Fortunate strokes of serendipity always miss us by a hair’s breadth as we are the same people, who’s sheer rotten luck once compelled a forest-guide to shoot himself in his head with a rifle as he failed to show us a single tiger — or any other wild animal — in the forest of Kanha, after five(5) rounds of safari.(Except deer. We saw that in plenty!) Surviving that, the poor bloke in depression and amusement even tried to jump under the Gypsy. This lunacy of his should make it clear to the reader that all the accidents and the dissatisfaction always happen to us, and only us as we are jinxed.

The dissatisfaction has nothing to do with the beauty of the Kashmir; but with the change in climate, and with the people — who being very benevolent and simple, have been brainwashed by religions and radical leaders and hence are very Anti-Indian-Government. Though they will not harm the tourists as it is their only way of income, but one should avoid these places during disturbed times. Let the government do their job and let the people fight for a job. All you can do is visit their haven and help the poor when in peace.

Visiting in June has its perks. In Kashmir, every single season is beautiful. In June you will find lush green fields with nomads wandering around with their sheep and horses giving you a different essence, different from the rest of the India. This essence is what we enjoyed in our next trip to Doothpathri. In this last trip, the Kashmir showed us its true colour. Or perhaps there was nobody else to disturb. No tourists, no nuisance.

Detached from the rest of the world, the road of the last 15 miles is like a serpent passing through the pine forest and garden of flowers. Untouched by human beings, it reminded me of the movie ‘Twilight’ and its scene of the countryside forests and mountains. Being a potter-head myself, this is the only scene I remember from ‘Twilight’.

Spending some time with the countryside animals, we returned to Srinagar to have the famous Biryani of the Mughal Darbar and I will be honest with you as comparing things is in humanity’s roots; its nothing when compared to the brilliant Kashmiri pulau and the kahwa which everyone should taste once. As I tried to find elaichi before it found me, we realized that we had ordered double the capacity, our stomach could hold. Disappointed by the food, and more by the left overs and even more by the bill, we went for the Shikara ride.

Having mentioned about the sweet aroma of the Dal Lake before, the fact that in winter, the lake has a gorgeous view with the white mountains in the back, should not be missed. The floating markets and the Shikaras compel one to think of Kerela’s backwaters plus the mountains and minus the houseboats — capable of travelling over water. Though, overpriced boats and trash cans floating on the stinky water is common in both the places.

Kashmir is such a place which brings hypocrisy out of a writer. We were a little skeptical about all the hype houseboat gets, and surprisingly we were not wrong. Though advertised and supported by govt. as it is a way of living for the natives, and though the wood-works were very fine in some of them, and though the ladies loved it, it was not our cup of tea as nature-lovers. After all it does not move!

But if one stays in a resplendent new boat near the open lake, the view during the day, and the wind at night, will blow you away.