this is great.
it can be really tricky though to enforce these “I don’ts”. Other people tend not to take kindly to frequent “I don’ts”, and that just makes life a hassle. it can be very much a hassle to be seen as someone with an “attitude problem” — my favorite response to attempted boundary-setting.
When I was very young, I told a much older woman i worked with about a serious problem I was having with a neighbour who was pressuring me to do something I didn’t want to do. (talk about boundaries — they were next door). She said honey that’s easy — she said that when something like this happened I should say right away ‘yeah sure! and smile real nice…then say ‘and this is how I see it happening!’ ‘this is what works for me! (big smile)
and damned if it didn’t work for me.
this may not work in every situation, and seems kind of devious, but what the hell, all’s fair, right?