wow. what a remarkable post.
and I bet it will help a lot of people, and that’s the important thing.
but Robert, it may be the recovery framework that equates victimhood with lack of responsibilty… and helplessness…but in fact, those things are not equivalent. People who have been hit by a car, or abused by a parent, or badly treated in any way, are in fact victims of that. it happened to them and they did nothing to cause it.
Victims hopefully go on to be survivors, taking responsibility for moving on and learning how not to be helpless. Maybe tough love works in recovery, but it doesn’t work in other situations. In other situations, to get well, people need to come to terms with what happened to them — and then move on.
How wonderful that you did so wells under such terrible circumstances ;)