Packing tips are for idiots — unless headed to Cuba

I used to marvel at blogs that offer tips for packing, which I thought to be cheap tricks to get traffic from idiots.

Wouldn’t I check southern Brazil’s climate before booking my Rio holiday? Doesn’t it go without saying that visiting Helsinki in January requires boots? I am amused at how clueless people can be.

Ding dong, you may be choking on your sweat here, but it’s winter in Cape Town. Yes, that’s why you airfare was dirt cheap!

Other times people — a certain type of people — panic that no shop in New York, Singapore, Moscow, or any other perfectly globalised city will have their favourite Tibetan peach body scrub. Or, more sensibly, they don’t want to waste time looking for it. Or, less sensibly, they can’t survive five days without the stuff.

Either way, travel sites that remind me to take SPF 50 to a tropical beach have me yawn before I even realise what I am yawning at.

Cuba is different. Again.

Therefore, I was cagey about penning this article until I found myself running around Havana looking for talc (no luck). While I am fully aware that talc doesn’t qualify as an essential toiletry and I don’t remember ever having bought it before, I could have really used some baby powder to take the stickiness out of the dance floor.

Anyway, this admittedly minor frustration made me think.

Of that time I spent a whole morning looking for tampons (found, thankfully). Of the half day that I wasted in search of contact lens solution (found, for an extortionist 30 dollars.) And especially of the whole afternoon I chased a kitchen sponge and some washing up liquid across three municipalities (awol everywhere.)

I suddenly felt inspired to dispense packing advice.

So, if you don’t want to lose precious holiday time or, on occasion, your mind, read on and then re-evaluate what you put in your suitcase.

Food

Yes, you should pack edibles too. While restaurant food is easily available and often very nice, the same cannot be said for dry goods. There exist no such a thing as a ready meal in Cuba, not even in its most primitive incarnation of a pre-packaged sandwich. Or a sausage stick. Chopis and cafeterias sell plasticky biscuits and crisps, but if you are fond of snacking I suggest that you fly in your own treats.

It goes without saying that people on a gluten / lactose / sugar free diet who don’t want to do away with eating altogether should carve out a little pantry space in their suitcase. On this point: customs has no issue with dry fruit, energy bars, nuts, chocolate, and canned meat, but it will confiscate items like non-pasteurised milk products and charcuterie. If you want to chance it, at least make sure that everything is vacuum-packed.

Toiletries

A few years ago one of the state commercial enterprises, TRD Caribe, entered into a partnership with the Italian drugstore Acqua e Sapone (Agua y Jabon in Cuba). You can imagine my excitement when I saw the familiar sign.

Until I walked into the shop, that is.

Apart from the fact that imported goods are twice as expensive as anywhere else, they didn’t have much that was imported. In fact, there wasn’t much on the shelves at all. If what you are after is a global brand shampoo or conditioner you won’t be disappointed. Maybe you’ll end up buying sunscreen and deodorant too, but anything more exotic is still too exotic for Cuba.

Therefore, the same advice that goes for food applies here: don’t forget anything that is a notch up from the bare essentials. Pack insect repellent, makeup, hair pins, razors, a brush… basically any item that isn’t strictly for keeping clean.

Clothing

This is the one that shouldn’t need explaining, but since we are here: it’s hot in Cuba.

I repeat, it is hot in the country, all around it and throughout the year. If you are travelling between April and October don’t even bother packing anything with long sleeves. Or maybe a light jacket, just in case you decide to explore the island and happen onto a bus driver who likes it chilled. Which is unlikely, because Cuba is not one of those places where the aircon gets pumped to the max. Tell a local that the weatherman forecast 21 degrees and she’ll go look for her padded windbreaker.

Jeans are also a bad idea at the height of summer, especially skinny ones since you’ll have to peel them off your legs in the evening with pieces of skin attached to them. However, if tight outfits are your thing, by all means pack plenty short dresses and lycra pants.

By all means.

This brings us to the real tip: if you have a chance to pass off as Cuban, try to do so. Or at least avoid sticking out like a sore thumb.

As a woman, ditch baggy pants, flat sandals with straps, and loose tank tops. Basically the Birkenstock look (which should be avoided by everyone everywhere, in my opinion.) Men are less likely to be identified as foreigners due to clothing alone, but you may want to overdo the sleeveless t-shirts look. Wearing an actual watch and a faux gold chain is also helpful — if you can bear the sight of yourself in the mirror.

Random stuff

Lighters, pens, notepads, flash drives, tweezers… stuff that you use at home without thinking. Don’t assume that just because something is cheap it will be available in Cuba.

That’s not how the madness works.

Originally published at crazyabouthavana.com on December 13, 2018.