Barbara Chase
Sep 4, 2018 · 3 min read

Tired of Waiting For Real Passion

Is a woman meant to have one husband for life? Christian doctrine says this but if we look into nature, we don’t see animals practising this stifling process. You can find yourself having done everything right — getting an education, finding a husband, getting a job, raising a family — retired from your 9 to 5 and ready to take off on a new adventure, still able to move the body, the mind is still sharp, the spirit is still glowing and willing to welcome new feelings.

Empty!

If you had a rough plan for your retirement; not too strict as you want to allow for flexibility; to include more activity in all that you loved to do; You may have taken it for granted that you could rekindle a relationship with “your significant other” which would see you both going more down the impromptu path to pleasant and sensual activity. But did you forget to inform him?

“What you are smelling, I am not cooking,” the old people used to say. In other words, you and your partner may be at different points in your expectation spectrum. You may have been waiting, even longing for unleashing that bound up passion which you never truly got to express but you know you are still capable of sharing with that one unique person. Your otherwise busy life had prevented you from admitting that this is not the sort of thing you can store and take down when you have the time. You may have missed the part where your partner had stopped seeing you as a woman a long time ago.

Resentment will start to seep in as you traverse your first year of freedom from the office to realise that your husband did not think of spending any of your newly flexible time with you in the way you envisioned it. He had been having an alternative view of having the little woman home at last where she belongs. To cook and clean and unclutter to her heart’s content. Thank you Jesus!

Finding your passion in gardening, reading, music and conversations with the young generation should be all needed for your satisfaction, you think. But this is not happening when you long for intimacy while keeping these feelings private, shy about it. In your society a casual conversation on such a subject is taboo; and for a woman your age, you should not be having such thoughts. But intimacy is complex; a mix of mental and spiritual and physical that you find hard to navigate. You only know when it feels right.

Stop waiting! Take this where you can get it or stop talking about it. No one has time stored. You need to be happy now. You may find it in an old friend or not. A dear friendship could fill the void you if you allow yourself to be cradled in its tender arms. And if you have to part on a physical space level with your significant other, be bold and get it over with. You may be doing him a favour as well as he may have been needing a new lease on life too. It may be that you may find your way back to each other having tasted the world and realising that you had material to work with all along that your new perspective can unearth and ignite. Or not. You may in the silence of the night, savour what you have discovered and decide that you have found something you have been missing or even have been hungering for. In that case, you should shed the guilt and plunge head first into your new river of joy.

Stop waiting for the passionate you!

Cheers