Cherry on Top Complex

I love to pack. Maybe it has to do something with the fact that I am a notorious daydreamer and packing gives me the ultimate satisfaction of day-dreaming my life away and maybe, I’m just weird and simply like packing. I don’t know. But I do know that, whenever I’m supposed to pack for a trip or a vacation, I will wait till the last minute to do so. I will tick off the most annoying things off of mine to-do list, then I procrastinate, then I wait some more, and maybe then, I pack. This scenario usually ends up with me, running around the apartment like a crazy woman wearing only tights and a bra, while not being packed even halfway.

It seems like an odd approach to take, but the thing is that we’ve been actually taught to do that. Our whole life our parents are teaching us, that we must eat all the vegetables if we want to eat the candy. In school they tell us, that we should do the hardest and the most boring assignments first so we still have the energy and focus and leave the easy and enjoyable one’s for later. I call this the ‘Cherry on Top’ complex.

You see, cherry on top is, theoretically speaking, the best part of dessert. (The best part of dessert is, of course, the whipped cream with caramel syrup and Oreo sprinkles. But for the sake of this article and for the sake of me having a wonderful metaphor, we’re going to speak theoretically.) Something you need to deserve. Something you need to work for. Something you need to cherish.

There are always these unspoken rules about the cherry on top. You have to eat all the dessert before you can eat the cherry. You have to eat the ‘bad part’ before you can eat the best. (Again, we’re speaking theoretically, because we all know there isn’t really a bad part of dessert.) We’ve been conditioned to think, that without knowing the pain, you’re not going to feel the glory. But I disagree.

I don’t have to clean my whole closet before I’m going to pack, so that I feel like I deserve to do something I enjoy. You don’t have to eat ten pounds of spinach to know, that chocolate is going to taste freaking amazing. We don’t have to postpone joy.

Because sometimes, when you postpone joy, it slips away. When I do chores before I pack, because I feel like I have to deserve to pack, or I want to save the best for last, ninety percent of the time, I usually end up with none time left for packing. This means I have to rush, which means, that I will be stressed and packing will no longer be a pleasurable activity for me.

Or, when you’re eating spaghetti, and there’s this piece with so much extra cheese on it, that you’re so looking forward to eating it. But our cherry on top complex tells us, that we should always save the best for last. And so we do. And before we know it, we’re so full of pasta, that we weren’t even able to eat that last piece of extra cheese heaven. We didn’t even get a taste.

Joy and happiness doesn’t make an appearance when we desire. Some people might say that happiness comes to them at the most inconvenient times possible. But I don’t believe such thing as an inconvenient time for being happy. Just look how ridiculous that sounds. I believe that now, is as good time as any to be brave and straightforward and, most importantly, now’s the time to eat that cherry on top first.

I know that you probably read about this kind of stuff all the time, but I feel like people need the constant reminder and encouragements, so here I am, telling you, that you should book the flight. Call that old friend. Now is the time, to crop out the people, who make your life miserable, out of your picture. Dye your hair that color you’ve always dreamed of having. Tell that special someone that you like them, and tell them one more time, just in case they didn’t hear you. Eat that piece of cake. Not tomorrow. Not when you pass the exam. Now. Tell people you need them. Be so beautifully desperate that people can’t ignore you. And Smile. Smile a lot. Don’t postpone joy. I know that people tend to think that doing all that straightforward stuff and putting themselves out there is risky, but there’s far more risky thing to do and that’s giving happiness a rain check.

I’m insanely talkative, scarily confident and wonderful human being born and raised in Slovakia. Get in touch with me on Twitter @barborasladkova. Or send me an email. Or a letter.