Amazon Denied My Review of ZENY 38" New Beginners Acoustic Guitar

Amanda Hudgins
Aug 28, 2019 · 4 min read

Amazon would not let me post my review of the ZENY 38" New Beginners Acoustic Guitar With Guitar Case, Strap, Tuner and Pick (Black), a guitar I have purchased 16 times.

They said the review violated their guidelines. There is not a way for me to resubmit the review, nor is there a way for me to challenge this take-down. So with that in mind, here is my review of the ZENY 38" New Beginners Acoustic Guitar with Guitar Case, Strap, Tuner and Pick (Black). With some additions.

in the style of the Amazon star ranking system, this has 1 filled in yellow star next to four other, unfilled stars.
in the style of the Amazon star ranking system, this has 1 filled in yellow star next to four other, unfilled stars.
1 Star

good enough for smashing, but wouldn’t recommend for much else

I placed two orders for these guitars — 1 in my first order to ascertain that these were in fact, not very good guitars and another 15 because I discovered they were, in fact terrible, and deserving of death. In the end I ended up with 16 guitars.

These guitars are terrible, though this is coming from the perspective of a person who grew up playing brass so your mileage may vary. The material is cheap — the fret board which frequently is inlayed with metal is actually a painted plastic, and painted is a strong word. The neck of the guitar is on there, but everywhere this guitar connects is a mess of bad joints, even worse woodwork (if the material in question is even wood) and uneven painting. The paint job itself is easily the worst part — even before I covered these things in all manner of material the paint job was uneven, poorly conceived and the guitars pock marked with divots and clotted spray paint around the tuning materials in the top.

The accompanying strings are…questionable? Several of the strings bear a greater resemblance to fishing wire than they do to actual guitar string, and once untuned they will not tighten. They won’t. Seriously, it’s a mess. The sound, when tuned, is fine. It’s fine. But after handing off the guitar to friends who actually played, we found that it managed to untune itself over the course of one song.

a collection of painted guitars lined up against a wall.
a collection of painted guitars lined up against a wall.

This does not come with a tuner, as stated, but rather a pitch pipe. This is not the same as a tuner, though as someone who grew up playing a French horn I couldn’t have tuned the guitar with either device. Additionally it came with a pick, though I should also clarify that this pick was the size of the palm of my hand. I cannot find a single other pick in this size range. To call it comical would be an understatement.

This is the like when you ask your grandmother for a Nintendo and she accidentally buys you one of those shitty plug-in-play consoles where it’s actually just an emulator but inside something that looks like a bloated dolphin? It’s like that. This is not a real guitar. Do not buy this guitar for your kid or grandkid unless you’re hoping that they smash it. Like one reviewer here put it — this thing is $40 firewood.

a pile of smashed guitars, their face plates battered.
a pile of smashed guitars, their face plates battered.

ADDENDUM: THEY SMASH BEAUTIFULLY. Seriously, they’re cheaper than most guitars which according to online research can take about 3–5 smashes to actually break apart, but these smash in about one hit and they create a cloud of debris. When smashing make sure to wear proper safety equipment and to film for posterity cause, y’know, you’re smashing a guitar. I recommend a full face mask + gloves though over the course of the night, someone did manage to break apart the plastic face mask shield. But they didn’t cut their face.

(the picture to the left is a pile of broken guitars, to give context)

FURTHER ADDENDUM: oh hey Kotaku wrote about this whole thing, which you can read here: https://kotaku.com/first-players-destroyed-their-guitar-controllers-then-1837417759

Amanda Hudgins

Written by

occasional writer, former rugby player

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