“How To Be a Man”?
Or, why biology doesn’t care !
The video below is another interesting shift-in-perspective about what it means, or should mean (according to the mind behind the video script), to be a man in today’s post-modern, feminine-imperative / enlightened society.
The overall point — that the idolized “cool man” of the past probably doesn’t have what it takes to be virtuously-skilled enough to manage themselves properly in today’s ‘soft sauce’ (hypersensitive) media-programmed world — is interesting to me; even a little nauseous.
The School of Life says there are aspects of modern-day manhood that can be refined. Maybe so!
Yet, the other parts (mostly driven by biology) just need to be left to their own devices.
First the video:
As one commenter on the video put it:
The problem here is that they label attraction as a pure product of our society and not a basic biological function… from a biological point of view, it makes little sense to feel attracted to the “warm” guy. This kind of attraction comes more from the mind.
Because people think that what they want in a man are those “warm” guy treats, but actually biologically they are attracted to the “cool” guy much more (I mean in a physical way). This often creates an inner conflict caused by the discrepancies between what the mind wants and what actually creates attraction and arousal.
So the best thing here is to find a middle way, to cultivate those “warm” guy personality traits in order to be someone another person is able to be around and enjoy your company. But, at the same time, have the necessary “cool” guy features to create and maintain the necessary attraction, which is not only useful in a relationship but also helps to achieve ones goals in our day to day life.
Another huge thing in being a real man is self acceptance. This eliminates the mentioned anxiety gap [in the above video] between what is and what should be (or how we should be).
A real man doesn’t condemn himself for who he is, nor does he try too hard to be different.
You can own your anxiety and still be the coolest guy in the room, At one point you will even see the anxiety slowly dissipate if you really apply this, because the only reason it was there in the first place is because of you trying to be somehow differentthan you are.
Once the anxiety arises you start to try even harder to control it and push away from it therefore constantly reinforcing its existence.
Self acceptance sounds simple and superficial, but if you really try to apply and get into it you will realize that its actually hard and very deep…. Deep enough for its absence to be the cause of most of our sorrows as men.