(Exhibition) Game Preview —vs. UNO

Time: 7:00pm CDT, Location: The CLink, TV: None, Line: N/A

Sup Bluejays,

Basketball season is (kind of) here and it starts off with a doozy of a game. Not being from Omaha, I first thought of UNO as a glorified commuter school, where the students who didn’t get into Creighton, UNL, Nebraska Wesleyan, or Omaha Central went. Living here has only further confirmed this (mostly by the Maverick my roommate is dating.) But this game is for charity, so we’ll play our little brother in the name of St. Ignatius or whatever.

If you didn’t know, UNO was a win away last year from making The Tourney. It actually came down to the last play. But much like Goose’s fate in Top Gun, a Maverick trying to score a miracle shot led them to an early exit. This year’s a new year though, so UNO Basketball will be better, right?

Wrong. The Mavs lost 2 out of their 3 top scorers from last year and have a coach named “Darren” who spells his name D-E-R-R-I-N. What a dick.

I’d like to see a Mintz-Foster-Thomas-Harrell Jr.-Krampelj lineup, but don’t be surprised if the more experienced T-Shirt Toby starts over Ronnie. Either way, I’m on board with Coach Mac. He currently owns Lincoln and is ready to expand his portfolio by buying property on Dodge.

This game is for charity, so I don’t expect any spreads to come out. (Sorry, you degenerates looking to bet on a CHARITY game.) But, I’ll say Jays -14. I know some of you will be desperate & use this line. And good luck with that.


Bench Player to Watch Sitting On the Bench: #33 Evan Tricker, F, Freshman

Kid is 6'11" and weighs 180 lbs. For all you math nerds out there, that’s a bmi of JESUS KID EAT SOME FUCKING FOOD.

He has a BIG time fetish for Mini-Coopers, according to his Facebook page. I hate Mini-Coopers. Therefore, I hate Evan.