* First in a series to help you put a youth baseball team together. How do you set a defensive lineup, batting order? What do you look for in a player? How do you run a practice or tryout? I will answer those and many other questions here.*

One of the toughest things to deal with in youth baseball is being second guessed by parents and sometimes even from your assistant coaches.

How do you deal with this?

There is nothing more intense to me than a major league playoff game: the drama, the scrutiny of every managerial move, of every pitch, the passion from the players, the do or die attitudes.

When the playoffs begin everything seems to be heightened as if it becomes beyond personal whether a team wins or loses.

No one is more in the crosshairs during a championship series than the managers.

You could be a guy who played in the bigs for twenty years, rode the bus league managing single a teams, paid every due possible, and be considered an icon of the game, but when you pull a pitcher at the wrong time, you’re a moron.

In the space of two days this weekend, this happened to Nationals manager Matt Williams and Dodgers manager Don Mattingly.

In Los Angeles, Donnie Baseball has been able to find success in the second biggest media market in the world while dealing with a myriad of personalities on a team filled with drama.

This is not the baseball that Mattingly grew up playing and certainly not the baseball that he remembers as a Captain of the New York Yankees of the 90’s, but he’s been able to balance the wants of the superstars with the needs of the team and has reached the playoffs with a team that oddsmakers say could win it all.

Over the weekend, Mattingly was questioned for pulling a pitcher too early in a game and then the following day he was questioned for staying with a pitcher too long. At this point in the season you can’t win or lose these arguments; all you can do is shake your head at the media.

The media’s job is to ask questions, stir things up, find a story. When the media sees a crack in the wall they stick their heads in fully and try to bring down that wall; that’s what they do.

For Matt Williams, he did what he had been doing all season long – going to his closer. And when Jordan Zimmerman, his starter, walked a batter with two outs in the ninth, he did what he had done all year; he went to the Closer – Drew Storen. Storen blew the save and the Nationals lost the game in 18 innings.

Then came the second guessers.

The same thing happens in youth baseball with the Parentals playing the role of the media.

“Parentals” equate success with winning. Each parent wants to be able to brag that “my son (or daughter) plays on a travel team and we’re undefeated!”

I, on the other hand, equate a player’s success when he or she listens, learns and applies that learning in a game, regardless of the end result.

When you are coaching youth baseball the second guessing scenario rears its ugly head way too many times and its one of the things I’ve had to really learn how to deal with. At the end of the day the truth will always set you free and that’s been my process.

This past weekend, two incidents happened that are an example of this.

My pitcher had come in in relief of the starter and had shut down the other team for four innings. He struck out seven batters and only one batter reached third until the final inning. With the score tied and two strikes on a batter, my reliever threw a nice fastball, low and outside, trying to hit the corner. To everyone it looked good but the umpire, in his infinite wisdom, disagreed and called it a ball.

The pitcher, 13 yrs old, shook his head in disgust and huffed at the ump while returning to the rubber. Instantly he knew he had screwed up as the umpire called time and headed out to the mound to discuss this with the pitcher. The young man, a great kid, knew it and shook his head at him in agreement. Once pleasantries were exchanged the game continued. Unfortunately, my pitcher couldn’t finish the inning.

He walked the next batter, let him steal, threw a ball in the dirt and then threw one into the backstop allowing the winning run to score.

I could have pulled him after the umpire’s visit. We had had this situation happen before but in the last two weeks, this player had stepped up his game and had been doing well.

For me he had built up the credit to try to work his way out of the jam he had created. He had earned the right to fix it. And for his development, I need him to learn how to deal with adversity and the only way that happens is when he gets back in the situation and handles it.

This could be lessoned learned for me, I suppose, as he fell apart. But my hope is that he learned a valuable lesson and is now closer to the pitcher I need him to be when he takes the mound again. When the same situation does occur with him pitching, I’ll have a tough decision to make: do I trust him to roll out of it, or do I pull him.

Earlier in the game with the bases loaded and one out, down 5–3, one of my batters was at the plate. This player can hit but he’s been in a slump. My best hitter was on deck. The play there is to lay down a bunt and at least get one run even if we give up an out.

Again, balancing development with winning, I felt like the batter should hit. Today, tomorrow and next week. If I start having him bunt in those situations, he will lose confidence and I will lose him completely. So I let him swing away. With one of my best hitters up next I felt good about the call.

The batter struck out.

With two outs, my best hitter popped up to the second baseman. Inning over. I’m a moron, right?

Wrong. That’s not the way I see it.

These are still young players and my job is to find that balance between developing the player… and winning the game. Listen, coaches don’t have the luxury of second guessing. When a coach begins to second guess himself, it’s time to quit the game.

I make the call that I feel is right and I stick with it regardless of the second guessing and regardless of whether I could even be fired or not.

Use the information that is available to you, has this player hit before, are his at bats going well, does he understand the situation? And more importantly, use your gut instincts. If you’re right, you’re a genius, if you’re wrong, you suck. All you can do is to make the call you feel is right and stick to your guns when questioned.

Always come from a place of truth and trust me, you’ll sleep better.