A day in the (lockdown) life of Jack, remote Venture Capital analyst

Once upon a time, Jack had a pretty good life-work balance (Episode I). He got his VC dream job by prep‘ing hard with Q/A about VC job interviews. But everything has changed. A pangolin was eaten, Airbnb is rebranding as AirIPO and people are running marathons in 19sqm apartments. Someone else called this phenomenon Covid-19. What about you?

Episode II: A lockdown day with Jack, VC analyst (currently WFH)

Tuesday, 6am.

The sun wakes up, so is Jack (but he thinks it is Saturday, as he had a Zoom party yesterday night). Well. Who cares? Covid-19 has forced us to implement the “New Week“ concept where everyday looks the same. Let’s go.

So Jack wakes up. When the lockdown was announced, he decided to start a new morning routine to have a semblance of normal life. Jack starts its Vinyasa Yoga class for 30'. Once he feels relaxed, Jack puts on his new favorite podcast called PodVid-20 and jumps on his Peloton for his little lockdown activity. Jack is happy because he is dating a girl during this 6.45am morning class. Indeed, Tinder is too complicated with social distancing. So Jack is experiencing real online dating… I mean avatars dating.

Jack just heard about a new game on PodVid-20, “Deal Cold“. It is basically the opposite of Deal Heat. With Deal Cold, VCs are fighting to make the least investments possible. It is worth 3 points! And during this competition, there is a bonus for the one which will be able to help the less its portfolio. Jack will definitely tell his VC to enter the fight! Nice reco Jack, nice reco…

7.32am.

OK. Jack is almost warmed up for the day. Yesterday he did this Insanity workout. Yes. Valuation is key. Euhm VARIATION is key!!

It is time to try this new vegan coffee. Wait. Coffee is vegan by nature right? Who cares. Jack subscribed to this new box concept. The best part? They even deliver wheat and yeast!!! Indeed, as Jack is a very special person, he started to make his own bread. By making it with his own hands (but first he washes it 30x during 1s) he feels like an entrepreneur. He will definitely add this skill on his LinkedIn —BREAD MAKER— Good job Jack.

8.18am.

Jack feels the need to change his work environment. So Jack moves the couch in front of the window. He wants to see the Himalaya. Yes, he heard that due to Covid-19 laying off 95% of Airlines, there will be less people trying to climb that mountain. Let’s beat this Great Depression peak.

8.48am

It is very early. And yet, Jack decided to start WFH earlier to avoid the morning Slack, Asana, Messenger, GG meets, Monday.com, Zoom, WhatsApp, Instagram, GitHub, Tiktok, Flock, GoToMeeting, Fortnite, Trello… traffic. Good Job, you did it!

9.19am

There is a problem. Jack does not have anything to do. He is done reading the daily MorningBrew newsletter for the 19x times. Pipeline is closed. Focus first on the portfolio they said. But Jack did not make any investment since Episode I …

10.20am

Jack has found something to do. Jack is the new PR. Indeed, he is finishing the press release correction for a new investment. Of course, the fund closed the deal 2 weeks B.C. (side note: stands for Before Covid-19, not Before Christ).

10.52am.

Jack does not have anything to do (again). So he is watching the Everest (Himalaya’s peak) from his new WFH spot. 20 minutes later he understands, it is not the Everest. Unfortunately. Actually, it was Airbnb 1,900 laid-off employees trying to puzzle a new tourist destination, inside the US. What a crazy time!

11.44am.

It is time to cook.

**CORRECTION**

It is time to try cooking.

Well it was a disaster. So it is time to be a nice guy and support local restaurants! Jack runs down the street and looks for the 1st “TAKEAWAY” restaurant. Unfortunately FaceID does not work to unlock ApplePay these days, and Jack is too scary to take off his mask. Jack runs back home. He is too hungry. So he ends up UberEatsING (bad guy!).

2pm

Back to nothing to do. Actually not. Jack remembers this old VC adage “The best companies are built during challenging times“. Jack thinks twice and twists it to The best analysts become Partners during challenging times. Hell yeah!

Motivation is back. Jack is trying to find out if this founder is cool. He is not cool. But he is **CURRENTLY HIRING**. At least on LinkedIn. Well either his startup is delivering food, or he has just raised a new round and did not get Sequoia’s memo, or maybe the startup could be profitable??? No way. It must be a joke. This founder is lying. 99% chance. This guy won’t be the beginning of your Partners Path. Sorry Jack.

3.04pm

BTW. Jack remembers a new theory he elaborated yesterday:

• Cash is King. No further explanation.
• Profitability is Queen, i.e. it is nice to have but it takes time to build a long-term relationship.
• Valuation is Children, i.e. the more you have, the better (in the middle age at least). BUT it is risky if you are too young.

3.07pm

Jack has a call with one of his favorite startup. I mean portfolio startup. Yeah, Partners decided to shut down the pipeline for now to focus on helping the portfolio. Yes you know these Partners who do not have any entrepreneurial experience and pretend that they can help NOW. Well at least they have a network of experts, plus it is their 2nd or 3rd contraction (go to the hospital? Is it the Black Swan?). Take eat Easy.

Jack is happy. He must help this startup. It is working in the travel industry. Is it a trap for our little Jack?? Maybe… Well, eventually Jack has the right to help the portfolio because Partners needs to focus on raising the new fund. Who talked about bad timing? (Probably our friend Masa Son).

• Jack: … Ah you need cash?
• Sharing travel startup: YES.
• J: Sorry, we are short on management fees.
• STS: What about your carry?
• J: Well, unfortunately you are not among our top 1%. We will put our cash on our champions. Do you need advice?? :DDD
• STS: No…

Call done. Pfiou. Finally the founder decided to pivot to deliver DIY cosmetic boxes (cc Ardolé). Wonder the link with travel industry? Well it makes people happier he said. Good job Jack. He ends up his post-call email by “Zooooom you soon”. Yes we are living here. Until Zoom becomes the new Skype.

4.27pm

It is lockdown KOMBUCHA time. Yes the afterwork has started already and alcool is not the new cool anymore. Jack planned to Lyft on Sand Hill, but it is under consruct. I mean the road is quite empty these days. I mean VCs are WFH. I mean we call it now Sand Hill Notion as everyone feels the need to share someting on Notion. Sorry Slack. At least you, you IPOed (cc Airbnb).

6.38pm

EoD self-contactless reflection. Jack is thinking about joining another VC, more focused on mission-driven startups.

6.52pm

It is time to connect with an old college friend, right? Well over the past few weeks Jack has scrolled down and contacted almost everyone in his contacts. Let’s call this weirdo now.

6.54pm

Well. That was too weird.

But wait, it is almost HOOOUSE PARTYYY time! It has become the new networking opportunity, or is it Roblox? Let’s enter the room.

7.42pm

That was tough. Connecting with old fellaws and family is a good way to end up in paradise but now Jack is hungry. He planned to cook this Blue Apron box but he is lazy ATM. He ends up putting everything in the micro-wave. Unfortunately it did not work. It was a bit (a lot actually) undercooked. Hopefully, Jack can count on this new dark kitchen and his order is here 8 min after ordering. What an experience! He wants to invest in Covid-19 emerging concepts. Yes. Finally he gets the right mindset.

9.49pm

Jack wants to go out. Fortunately for flattening the curve, his Uber was fired. Let’s go to bed then. See you in real life… with a mask!

Let’s stay in touch on LinkedIn.

BBB

Top Venture Capital intern/analyst interview questions.

Top Venture Capital intern/analyst interview answers.

Jack Episode I.

(Photo by Victor Grabarczyk on Unsplash + Mask adjustment made with Affinity)