I don’t really understand this sentiment. What I want is high-quality software, that I can reliably use and build upon. Where it comes from, and how it is developed is secondary. When I think about “community” I think about the people I go out to dinner and get drinks with, the people whose birthdays I celebrate, the ones I have random, rambling conversations with. None of these are things I associate with the open source software I use.

What I do expect is professionalism, of a sort. That includes things like not being rude or abusive of discriminatory, but those are just the basic considerations for civic behavior in any situation. The major concern is “does this code work” and “will issues I have be resolved in a timely”. As you’ve correctly noted, that is a matter of resources, but I don’t see how that leads to “99% of open source is about community”.