What I did wrong — exhibit of revision process.
My first step in reviewing my papers was a “clean up”. I went through each one of my three papers and checked my capitalization's, spelling, apostrophes, commas, periods, and everything in between. Many of my mistakes came from forgetting to add an apostrophe when something was possessive and plural, something I often forget to do. Another mistake I commonly made was forgetting to italicize the TV show names referenced in each of my papers (The Office and Saturday Night Live).
The content revisions of my first paper included adding more research and specific facts to back my claims up. My whole paper is centered around my assumption that the 2016 election was easy for Saturday Night Live writers and actors because of how dramatic the real life candidates made it on their own. However, I did not provide and evidence from the writers or actors/actresses that it was easier for them. For example, a section of my fifth paragraph read “ The 2016 election must have been the easiest season of Saturday Night Live to write because of how easy all of the candidates made it. Each candidate basically set themselves up for every single joke that was brought upon them”. Then, I revised it to say, “The 2016 election must have been the easiest season of Saturday Night Live to write because of how easy all of the candidates made it. In an interview with The New Yorker, Alec Baldwin commented on his portrayal of Donald Trump saying, ‘Trump’s character was the most physically demanding role he had every played’. He attributed the physical demands to the ‘Trump face’ (squinted eyes, pursed lips). However, the lines and attitude of the character itself did not present as much of a challenge to him. He had fun while playing it but also felt immense pressure to represent him well as ‘all eyes were on him this election season’”.
This change provided input from the main character of the sketch to back up my claim that the role was easy for him. Although he did say it was physically demanding and made him feel pressured, the point still stands that Trump set most of the sketches up on his own leaving little work to Baldwin.
Learning from the mistakes of my first paper, I added plenty of facts and figures to my second paper in order to avoid making unjustifiable claims. However, I got a little too information heavy. So, I added another visual towards the middle of the writing to breakup some of the information.
My third paper was about the arch throughout the lifespan of the show The Office. I focused on the main character, Michael Scott, the man who played him, Steve Carell, and the show itself. However, I put too much emphasis on the arch of Michael Scott and not enough on Steve Carrel and how it attributed to his departure from the show. So, I did some more research into why he left and how his character development affected his decision to leave. The last sentence of my third paragraph previously read, “Additionally, in another interview with Access Hollywood, Carell stated that he wanted to focus on movies instead of TV”. Then I added my research after that sentence to finish the paragraph. “Additionally, in another interview with Access Hollywood Carell stated that he wanted to focus on movies instead of TV. And that, he did. Following his departure from The Office, Carell starred in many box office hits. Some of these included Crazy, Stupid, Love, Foxcatcher, Despicable Me, Dinner for Schmucks, Date Night, and many other high ranking hits. According to Quora.com, Carell left in order to prevent getting stuck in the show. Also, during the earlier seasons of the show he starred in a couple movies that had significant success. Feeling the success of his movies while he was starring in the show drew him further from his attachment to the show”.
Overall, the main revisions of my papers included fixing my grammar mistakes and adding more specific details to back up my claims. In my first paper I had to add research to back up my hypothesis about Saturday Night Live’s portrayal of the 2016 election. My second paper needed a visual to break up the information and make it an easier read. Lastly, my third paper needed a deeper explanation of why Steve Carell left The Office and how that attributed to the overall arch of the show.