Self-Love and Self Care: An Individualistic Society

and why it’s okay to not be there yet

Self-love is quite the complicated feat, I’ve found. It’s definitely not as easy as it looks, and it takes practice and time before it can become permanent. First off, lets define what self-love really is. Google recognizes it as regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic). I think that’s a pretty good start. How can regard for our own happiness be helpful regularly? Especially when a majority of people do just fine without sparing a second to think of their health. I only realized how important loving yourself is after I first started doing it. Even after just TRYING to appreciate who I am as a person made me happier overall.

I’m not an expert on loving myself, I’ll admit. But I have improved on a significant level. It’s taken me a while to realize that I actually am worth something important, even if others don’t think so. A part of that reason might be because it took me a while to realize that finding a love for yourself is different for EVERYONE. Those dumb tumblr posts that tell you to take a bath with some candles and you’ll instantly love everything about yourself are bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, treating and relaxing yourself are phenomenal ways to build up that sense of care and I hella love that. But it isn’t that simple all the time.

Surrounding myself with friends and family that actually care helps tremendously. It isn’t hard to overlook people that constantly are damaging your self-esteem. To the unconfident person, these people are just doing what they’ve always been. But do not hesitate when it comes to these types of people. It’s an uphill battle. Like fighting a bunch of cicadas. They’re so freaking annoying but hey it’s whatever, they’ve just been there like they always have. And I promise you that if you keep them around long enough, there will be like gross cicada skin everywhere. Just stop. Let them go. Punch that damn cicada right in the kisser. Speaking in non-insect terms, Break up with her! Unfollow him! If you’ve waited because you think they’re going to change, they won’t. They won’t ever stop shedding their weird ass second body. You deserve better than that. Frick cicadas.

I’m going to be blunt for my second point. Delete your private account. I know this involves a small amount of people, but if you don’t have a private account stop tweeting out every second of your self-hatred. I used to have a pt and it was my favorite thing ever, and for or a little while, I could express my feelings into the void and get “rid” of anything I just needed to say to make myself feel better. It worked for a while. But the problem is, tweeting out my feelings just gave me an outlet to continue tweeting these things even if my plight wasn’t that bad. Unfortunately, I was making excuses to be negative, giving myself reasons to outwardly express the things I hated about myself. And the best part was that it haunted me. I couldn’t get away from all those tweets, because I saw them all the time. I mean, they were right there, on my profile. Stop making it harder for yourself to appreciate how wonderful you really are. Deactivate your pt. Take a second, step back, and if you need to vent, talk to someone who cares about you. (and if they don’t want to talk to you about it, refer to the before paragraph.) If they really wish for your well-being, you have no problem expressing your feelings in a more positive manor. Cicadas.

Lastly, and I’m going to completely contradict myself here, treat yourself. Acknowledging that to actually love yourself, you have to put effort into your health was a huge eye-opener. Imagine what you’d want a partner to treat you like, and then be your own date. Date yourself. Little things like buying your favorite flowers, cleaning out your room, taking a long bath/shower and doing your makeup to perfection, taking selfies, and eating that piece of cheesecake are so important with developing that relationship. You’ll feel so much better if you stop punishing yourself and spoil yourself instead. It can’t hurt to show your body some love- it’s the only one you’ve got. H^On the other hand, loving who you are can be a lengthy, laborious concept. Since it’s different for everyone, don’t feel discouraged if someone else seems to be getting it quicker than you. If you truly can’t let go of that toxic person in your life, don’t panic. It took me almost a year to get over one measly person! I thought that I wouldn’t be able to love myself ever again. And that’s just one example. Keep trying, because it’s not easy, and you can’t wake up one day and automatically feel the polar opposite towards yourself. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth a good try.

Angelle

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