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Your Love Language Is Likely Whatever You Didn’t Get as a Child
The Love Languages framework helps you be more introspective about what you need from a partner. Here’s another way you can consider them.
Published in
4 min readMar 6, 2021
When I was married to my first wife and we started struggling, we both read The 5 Love Languages by pastor and marriage counselor Gary Chapman.
Chapman’s book states that there are five different ways that individuals best understand and express love. When a person’s love language is “spoken” to them regularly, they feel truly loved by their partner, or their “love tank” is full.
The 5 love languages are
- Gifts (thoughtful tokens, not just expensive diamonds but can be),
- Physical Touch (hugs, hand-holding, touches, caresses, sexual intimacy, etc.),
- Quality Time (having connected, active time together),
- Acts of Service (such as cooking a meal, cleaning the bathroom, filling up your car with gas), and
- Words of Affirmation (verbal praise such as compliments).
Even without taking the assessment offered in the book and online, I knew my love language was Words of Affirmation. I’ve always wanted to be praised…
