Open Letter to the Very Sexually Active Teenager
Leslie Montgomery

Dear Leslie

I was really curious to read your response, I could tell from the tone in the first paragraph that a huge but was coming.

I love the letter Kathleen has written. I agree with her. Her message is about sex and sexuality, not actually love and romantic relationships. And those two are not the same thing.

Her message says, our sexuality is a natural thing. The world around us is taught to shame open/honest/natural displays of female sexuality. This kind of oppression is especially on display and in action within religious societies. So engrained in families that this happens:

I’ve grown up in a Christian environment. I’ve been forced to go to church and learn the rituals. I have also voluntarily gone to church and immersed myself in the faith as I grew older. I have since consciously decided that I don’t trust religion.

It is ok to be a girl and to be sexually active. It is ok to have sex outside of a romantic relationship. It is ok to have sex for the sake of sex. It is ok to be sexually oriented as you are. It is also ok to only have sex within romantic relationships. It is also ok to only have sex when married. It is also ok to choose to marry the church and be celibate.

Religion shames the girl. Writes rules of living for only the girl. Meant to oppress her, keep her quiet, control her movements, hand over her life to the man. Religion does not encourage a girl to explore her sexuality, or have anything for herself. Religion teaches the girl that her end goal is the man, who she will give children and he will protect her, speak for her, provide for her… teaches that that is the ideal every girl should desire.

Do you notice how your first go to was that she’s lonely and scared and craving Mr Right?

If a girl should have sex for the sake of sex, there must be something wrong. A troublesome past. A deep void she’s trying to run away from. She’s looking for love in all the wrong places. God forbid it turns out to be just that — sex for the sake of sex. For the sake of pleasure.

Life happens in all kinds of ways. We all experience loneliness at different points in our lives. Even married people get lonely. Even chaste people get lonely. Everyone gets lonely. For all kinds of reasons. It’s not always about love.

I don’t trust religion, because religion does not stand up for women. Does not celebrate the woman. Does not teach the world to respect the woman. Does not encourage the woman to choose herself.

Reduces her problems to needing a man, and knowing how to treat a man, and waiting for a man, and keeping herself holy and pure for a man…

Sex is not as complicated as religion makes it out to be.