Life doesn’t owe you, you owe life

I had this idea in my mind the other day while I was reading and thinking and wondering what life had in store for me and whether I could see what was approaching or whether I could even anticipate where I will be next year. I felt like I know now that it is me I was waiting for all these years of waiting for the perfect opportunity, the perfect moment, the perfect people, enough resources or anything I wanted. It was me I was waiting for.

Where was I in all that waiting? I was there, but I did not notice myself. I was there but was unaware. I was there waiting for someone else to take charge and write the script and act it out. Because I didn’t know how. Right? How could I know how to live my life, there must be some expert telling me. Right? There must be someone else doing all the hard work, I can’t do it, I’ve never done that before. Right? I never went there, experienced that, I don’t know which way I should go, how should I know where my life is going, my life just goes and I follow behind in wonder. Right? I wait for the circumstances to happen and then I react, heck sometimes I don’t even know how to react, there must be someone who knows this better then I do, knows how to react properly. Right? There must be someone else questioning the choices and examining which one to take, like an expert of some sort, an expert in decision making I mean. Right? You know? There’s got to be an expert somewhere out there. You know what I mean? A true expert. I’m just here. In my life. Waiting.

For someone else to live it for me.

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