One Return Ticket Please
I never understood the whole concept of you have to get something done. It’s like being in a train traveling to somewhere because someone told you to take that train, it’s the best train, it has all the perks. In the middle of the journey, you realize. STOP. I am not even in the right train. I want to get out. I don’t even know why I’m in the train, how can I enjoy the journey.
If you don’t like where you are and where you are going it’s because you are riding on the train before you even decided where you want to go and most importantly WHY. Why the hell are you doing whatever it is that you are doing? If you are lost, you just keep doing stuff without realizing the real purpose of it. That is why you get midlife crisis, you try to find yourself traveling all over, try so hard to understand, looking for everything, to finally ask yourself one simple question: Why?
Why am I here? With this person? In this place?
Do I feel like myself? Is all this that I am doing, a true reflection of who I am? Am I using all of my human abilities? Am I reflecting on the past instead of holding on, am I reflecting on successes and lessons learned?
What is the story of my life telling me?
Was I listening too much to all the people around me, expecting them to tell me?
Can I make new, different and fresh beginnings? Would the people in my life disappear? Would it matter? Where did I disappear in all of this?
The state of ambiguity and fluidity is when you get closer to where you came from. You become fast as the river, majestic as the old forests, powerful as an eagle soaring across your life span. You get to see all the things from a fresh perspective. Ask yourself what in nature would help you see life from a different perspective? What are the new traits you need to incorporate in your life to see a purpose?
We all get lost along the way. Not because we are on the wrong path or doing the wrong things, but because we want to feel again the reason we are here. We want to find new strength, power and perspective. We think we will do whatever is needed to find it. But you mostly just have to listen. To yourself.
I thought I would reinvent myself studying different things. I was wrong. Then I thought I would reinvent myself with knowing different people. I was still the same. Then I thought I should go see different places. I went and still kept being me. Only then did I sit down and listen to my Soul. She was there, waiting for me. She told me she loved me no matter what. She told me whatever I enjoyed at a particular moment was the right thing to do. She told me wherever I enjoyed going was the right place to go. Whomever I enjoyed being with, was the right person. Cause ultimately, if I enjoyed Who I Am, I wouldn’t have any doubts where to go, what to do and with whom to be. I could ease into being what I came here to be and develop.
And from that point on, I became my own best friend. My motivator and my protector. My guidance and my light.