My Dowry and Hasidic Marriage

September 1990, I was 17, it was Rosh Hashanah and I was on display.

Our Shul had a U-Shaped balcony, overlooking the Main Sanctuary on the ground floor where the men prayed. The perimeter of the balcony had four foot tall solid wooden panels that reached slightly higher than the bottoms of the lace curtains which hung from the ceiling, ensuring a complete separation between the men and women.

On special occasions, such as the Shabbat before a wedding, when the groom would say special blessings on the Torah, the female relatives would stand close to the gaps between the lace curtains and push the curtain over ever so slightly to be able to see the goings-on downstairs.

The women’s section was usually empty. It was only used on Shabbat and Holidays and even on Shabbat was sparsely attended. Mothers stayed home with their young children; it was only the middle-aged women and several dedicated teenagers who would attend regularly.

On Rosh Hashanah, however, the women’s section was full. Mothers brought their young children dressed in their holiday finest, and each seat in the Shul was taken. Young teenagers would bring their grandmothers, lugging the wheelchairs up the wooden staircase located at the back of the building and specially designated for the women.