Give This Week the Green Light… Go Be the Best You!

Rebecca Cameron
Jul 10, 2017 · 6 min read

DISCLAIMER: I am in the weirdest mood where I am so in my feels that it’s grossing me out. Sorry.

Let’s take a moment to realize we are already on the 191 day of 2017. WOW! This year is over half way over…. Time flies when life is crazy.

Anyway, it’s a Monday and I have had a great one so far. I guess that makes up for the weekend havoc I went through. It’s going to make for a great story time today. Seriously though, I’m doing my normal routine of going to Starbucks to work and I ordered a grande coffee and got a Venti on accident AND I got my favorite spot! Happy Monday to me!!

I spent some time in my devotions (Stress Point.. HIGHLY recommend it to my 20 somethings friends!) and the chapter was about dating. Let me tell you how weird it is to be 20 and be reading a section about dating while being engaged. As horrible and abusive my relationship was before Kyle, God truly spared me from the horrible dating scene of this generation. I learned how to love in my times of abuse, however, I feel really protected to have only been truly broken down by one boy rather than lots. I know that sounds weird. I went through my life changing event early on so I feel truly blessed to be able to prepare to be a wife at this age. God definitely had his divine hand on me for the past three years of my life. (I know it’s always been there… but I have seen and experienced his true love in very direct ways throughout the past three years especially). Emotional abuse is the scariest thing I have ever been through. I never imagined having to go through such a difficult thing at 17/18/19. Thank God spared my heart for Kyle. Thank God for having his hand over me. Anyway, love is just super cool! 404 days until my wedding, guys!!

So about this past weekend.. Oh my goodness. My poor heart. Okay, so I was at Kyle’s apartment and there was this BEAUTIFUL Bengal cat chilling outside his door. It was there all day and we decided to take him in because we didn’t want maintenance to take him. Seriously guys, this cat was the most precious baby EVER! I fell in love even after Kyle told me not to get attached because he knew he had a mommy who loved him. (I’m the worst at getting attached…). Kyle kept him for a couple days and he found missing cat posters. Seriously, I bawled like a baby when Kyle told me that he found posters. Kyle ended up taking him back to his mommy and my heart was seriously crushed. Shoutout to my mom for letting me cry it out. I’m a big baby, not even sorry.. Seriously though, I am glad his mom got Simba back though. They have such a sweet bond and I love seeing fur baby moms. I’m glad I got to meet Simba and love him, however, his mommy loves him more. When she got him back, she cried and it made it all worth it. Doing the right thing is such a difficult but rewarding thing.

I finished the first section of my modeling classes Saturday!!! I passed makeup and I move on to acting this week. GUYS, I AM SO EXCITED IT HURTS. I LOVE acting SOOOOO much!!!!!! I get to use my communication skills and my public speaking. I love being good at it. I love having a talent that is rare to find. I love public speaking so much. It is seriously my goal to use it to give my testimony in my future. I would love to speak about my sexual assault and be the voice for those who can’t. I seriously can’t begin to explain my love for public speaking and how I am in prayer every day on how to use it. It’s so weird because I never considered public speaking a talent until I got to college. It’s such a powerful thing to me. Nothing makes me happier than standing in front of a group of people and demanding to be heard. It is my hope that my modeling career with help with that platform. Words can’t explain how happy I am with these doors slowly opening for me.

In my free time this week, I am becoming certified in different marketing areas. I found these awesome classes that are about 5 hours long and I am taking the classes and preparing myself to find freelance work. It is difficult beyond belief to be only 20 and attempting to do work like I am. My field is so complex that I am soaking up all the knowledge I can find. It’s so exhilarating to me! I’m going to be looking on point on Linked In. I’m so excited to grow and become the best marketing manager I can be. My love for my field is so intense. Seriously, social media and communications makes the world go around. I feel like I have potential to go great things. Do Great Work.

On another note, I am having a GREAT body day! I am even in the mood to GO TO THE GYM!! Whaaaaaat!!!! That is HUGE for me. I am unable to go today so I may make up for it by going tomorrow.

Basically, today is great and I am embracing the great vibes I am feeling today. I feel so full and that is something I haven’t been feeling lately. I’ve been working on quieting my heart and surrendering everything to God and he’s been giving me direction and answers to lots of prayers.

Guys, I am just as guilty as the next person to giving my life and struggles more attention than God’s purpose. I have been on my knees several times this week just begging for God to give me a starting point. I’ve been praying and praying. I’ve been praying for the difficult areas in my life, and giving Him full praise for the improvements and blessings.

I’m not going to lie to you guys.. Things aren’t great in my heart right now. There are some heart issues heavily weighing on my heart waiting to be taken care of and it’s not fun. One of the big issues right now is my anger. I have been aware of the issue of my temper for a very long time and there are weeks where I will desperately try to ignore it and other times where my anger controls my entire being. It’s an issue that I understand needs to be taken care of now rather than later, especially as I prepare to spend my life with the man of my dreams. Honestly, as I am writing about this… I am not sure about my purpose for writing this. Maybe it’s to be vulnerable? Maybe it’s my way of asking for prayer? Or even me trying to reach out for help? It is an issue that overwhelms me and scares me. It’s a journey that burdens me and discourages me. Maybe this is a good time to stop rambling about this… Feel free to give me words of wisdom because as you can see, I am a very flustered 20 year old when it comes to big issues with myself.

Moving on….

I’m ready to take on this week. I’m ready to keep myself busy with work that focuses on my self growth, maturity, and Spiritual walk. This woman is ready to take some steps on becoming a better me… As overwhelmed and frustrated as I may feel, I am ready to persevere.

To those who actively read my blog, thank you for ALWAYS giving me feedback and giving me advice. I seriously am so thankful for the support and love. There are some days where I don’t know why I write… and it is SUCH a HUGE help to know there are people who will always read what’s going on in my life. I am so blessed. :)

This week, keep me in prayer as I work through my marketing certifications. Help me to put one foot in front of the other and be a better me.

Help me to be patient and quiet.

As always, feedback, comments, and CONVERSATION are always welcome. I look forward to the conversations. Get to know me and my story.. Reach out if there is something that you can relate to. :)

Much love,

Rebecca ❤

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