And if it hurts, it’s probably worth it

I often struggle with the feeling that I am a victim of things I have no influence on. That life is inherently unfair and that I am here to suffer. That other people are in many ways better than I am. Smarter, more beautiful and more social. I have self defeating thoughts that sometimes cripple my interactions and totally paralyze my ability to enjoy life.

But this is not true. Life just is. Not good, nor bad. It doesn’t give a flying fuck about you. Additionally, things that you believe often become reality. If you are convinced that you are worth a good job, a good relationship and a good life, you will also fight for it in order to obtain it. That makes you achieve it. On the other hand, if you struggle with your self worth and think that you are not worth anything and that you can’t do anything good, you are not likely to improve yourself. Many things in this life are self-fulfilling-prophecies. He who thinks he can and the one who thinks he cannot are both usually right. He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

If you stop being a victim, life will improve drastically. If you truly improve yourself, life will gift you. First define your goals for yourself, then work relentlessly on them until you achieve them. One by one. If life kicks you to the ground, stand up again. If life gives you cancer and makes you die, fight the good fight until the bitter end. Life gave you the ability to create something and to improve things for other people. To create something that stays when you are gone. Something that remains on this planet earth until it crashes into the sun.

My goals are:

  • Stop drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes
  • Become more social and outgoing
  • Find a job that I truly like and earn money
  • Sleep with 10 girls in the upcoming year (Until august 2017)
  • Live healthier. Eat better. Work out regularly.

All these goals are rather vague, except the one about sleeping with 10 women. It’s not bad that they are vague, I will clarify them soon enough.

Never fucking forget: YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. You decide your own fate. Life might kill you in some days. But you will chose what to do in these days.