In doubt, get out

I promised to write about the weekend I spent with my friends. The goals I set for the weekend where the following:

My primary goal is to have fun with my friends and to reunite. But I will also try to approach beautiful woman and to dance with them. Maybe if everything clicks, I will also try to go home with one.

Although I managed to have fun with my friends, I didn’t have much interactions with women. I talked to some girls, even some which were attracted to me, but it never really worked out. Either the logistics were to bad, or the girl had a boyfriend. What do I learn from this: It’s hard to get into contact with random strangers when you visit your friends. And there is nothing wrong with that. Friends come first, then beautiful strangers.

Back in my home city, I went out with some dudes from a forum and I approached some girls again. My focus momentarily lies on just having fun interacting with women and not getting any girl in my bed. I hope that the second will happen automatically from the first.

My approach anxiety was particularly strong on this day. I couldn’t imaging talking to beautiful girls. Therefore, I often start a session by talking with some random people. I talked with a young man for some minutes and we shared a cigarette. After the cigarette I felt much worse, but at least I had broken the first social hindrance. I went back to my pals and we approached three young and beautiful girls. The discussion was cocky-funny, and in the end I asked for the number by mentioning that we should meet up and party together. I didn’t really enjoy the conversation, because I was stuck talking to a girl that I wasn’t really interested in, but couldn’t switch the focus to the other girl that I was much more attracted to. This happens often to me. I don’t take what I want. I learn from this that I should focus my attention to the people and things that I really want. Obviously, it’s sometimes an advantage to not immediately show your attraction to the girl you like, because it makes you look needy and alternative-less. But in this case, I should’ve started talking to her after the first 5 minutes. Now I am stuck with a phone number from a girl that I don’t like and need to misuse her as a proxy to interact with my real target. Doesn’t feel good at all.

After this set, I approached a young woman indirectly by asking for good clubs to go out to. First we just talked about some clubs, then I slowly shifted the focus of the conversation to other things. The was one key moment, when I grabbed something she said and and asked a personal question about it. It’s paramount to look for subconscious emotional reactions when I first start to shift the topic to something more personal and emotional. If she radiates positive emotions, it’s a good sign and I can continue getting more personal. A truly great interaction evolved and I could even observe how her attraction grew throughout the set. Her eyes started to glow and grew smaller (like a cat almost closes her eyes if she enjoys being petted) and she even licked her lips quickly. After she needed to go, I honestly said that “I want to continue the talking some day later on a date” and she gave me happily her number and responded “Please contact me”. Later in the evening I texted her and she suggested to go directly on a date. I answered that I was on my way going working out (which was the truth). Then I made a mistake. We continued writing a lot: About our plans, professions and much more personal stuff. Even though this is a great sign, it shouldn’t be done by texting. This is stuff for the first date. It leaves a shallow feeling when your whole discussion material is gone before you even met on the first date. That’s what I learned from this interaction.

Later I directly approached a young woman by saying “Hey you are cute, do you want to go out sometime?”. She was very flabbergasted and said that she had a boyfriend of six years. I said that I could give her my number and that it is up to her to contact me if she wants to. In the end I hugged her. I never did this, but it definitely felt good. First she was somehow reluctant, but then enjoyed that I hugged her. This set was true pickup artist style. Three months ago, I could have never done this. And this very short interaction of two minutes exactly shows the power of the day-game: Women don’t expect to be approached by strangers. Their defensive shield is not prepared like it is in night game. If a woman makes herself pretty and goes out to the nightlife, she expects to be hit on and her mental barrier is strong and up.

I learned from this day: Strong and deep voice is paramount. Never lean in into conversations. Hold your feet half a meter apart. Make yourself tall. Don’t ask too many questions. It’s not bad if you seem bored. Don’t agree too much. Again, the deep voice and slow pace of speaking is very important.