To Indie, or Not to Indie

To indie or not to indie… that is the question.

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind… no, wait, I’m not going to do a whole Hamlet metaphor, that would be tiresome.

But this question really is kind of tearing me up.

How do I want to sell my books? Do I want to self-publish using Amazon and be an independent author, or do I want to find an agent and/or a publisher and let them put out my books?

If you’re a writer, I’m willing to bet you have a very strong opinion on one side or the other. But I want to tell everyone my side of the story and let you see it from that angle.

I never believed I had the ability or attention span to write a novel. More to the point, I never believed that cultivating those things and having a go at a novel-length piece would ever pay off. Nobody would ever see it. I knew how hard it was to break into the industry, and while I’m confident that I’m a decent writer, I didn’t have a lot of faith in getting that lucky break.

So, I didn’t write a novel.

And then I discovered Wattpad.

Now this was a few years back. Wattpad was a pretty messy place when I stumbled upon it, but I appreciated the potential. I also appreciated the price. I was poor as dirt and desperate to read stuff on my phone.

So yeah, I waded through some sludge, but I did find some really good stories that were only shy a good editor.

And suddenly, I realized that the gatekeepers in the publishing industry, who made me believe that my contribution to the slush pile wasn’t really worth months or years of my life, didn’t have to keep me from writing. I could write ANYWAY. Despite them.

That’s why I even started Shadow of the Portico. Because I knew I’d have an audience one way or another.

Fast forward to now. I just attended Armadillo Con, a terrific Sci-Fi/Fantasy convention largely geared toward writers. It was GREAT! I learned a lot, confirmed a lot, put out my story ideas and received positive feedback, got a great vibe.

Until I said I was an independent author.

Oh no no no, those traditional publishers and editors said. I should most assuredly query agents and publishers and try to get my work traditionally published. Because once I self-publish, it’s kind of Game Over. And do I want people to actually BUY my work? Do I want to sell more than 100 units? How willing am I do to do all my own marketing work, everything, by myself?

Three years ago I would have shrugged and said I’m just doing this for fun.

But is that still true?

I do take this writing gig very seriously, and I think I have at least a slightly-better-than-lottery-winning chance that someone might notice my books and want to do something with them. I wouldn’t be at all ashamed to query the profession with my stories, and wouldn’t be shattered if they said no thank you.

In that regard, indie publishing is a great safety net.

But wait. Is that all they are? No way. Indie writers are my tribe. They have been the people who have built me up, helped me along, sometimes carried me through. I don’t believe I would have something to query about if it wasn’t for the indie authors who have had my back these last few years.

I honestly feel like I’ve stumbled upon the crucible of my writing career, even before my career is a career.

My brain tells me to query, of course, what do I have to lose. My heart tells me to stick with Plan A and publish on my own.

And I have one more consideration.

Traditional publishing takes a long time. It’s a big boat that doesn’t turn quickly. It takes years to get things going. Now, that’s not really a huge deal. I can write other things while I wait, even indie publish other works outside The Journeymen series.

Except I take four insulin shots a day and I have had eight heart surgeries.

Time may be the one thing I don’t have.

I’m sorry, I don’t want to end this piece on that maudlin note. While I’ve been open about my health issues, it’s not who I am. It’s just the rather colossal elephant in the rather cozy room of my life.

Okay, this isn’t Hamletesque life or death decision making here, I admit it. But it’s something that’s on my mind, and a decision all serious writers face. It’s one of the myriad things that have moved me after a weekend full of writing inspiration. There’s definitely more inspiredness to come, and I promise I’ll do more than exhume Yorick’s skull.

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