Thanksgiving 2017
This year has been a trial. Early in the spring my husband and I found out that we were expecting a baby, that joy was short lived as I had a miscarriage not even two months in to the pregnancy. Over the summer we have had one struggle after another, mostly dealing with money.
Other stresses were my sister falling off the deep end and deciding lies were truth and truth was not important, so wading through her lies and finally cutting her out of my life was another trial that I’d rather not repeat. My grandfather is also dying of dementia, and has been in hospice care since mid summer, they keep saying that he could go any time.
Then my husband and I again found ourselves in the family way. This time we didn’t want to get excited because of our previous experience early in the year. So we kept it under our hats until I was 3 1/2 months along, and we figured that I’d start to show soon. And we began to share the news with the family. (Side note:what is it with women that when they know that your pregnant, that they feel they have the right to touch your belly and rub your belly without permission? I mean seriously, I have never had the desire to touch a pregnant belly without being asked to. It’s a totally different situation if the mother to be says “the baby is kicking, would you like to feel?” i have never had the impulse to touch any person without permission, it’s just not something you do. but really ladies keep your mits off my stomach, unless I tell you it’s okay to touch me.)
So then October 20th rolls around. My husband and my dad were in a head-on collusion. They were hit by a drunk driver. My husbands injuries were a dislocated hip, and a fracture in the socket of his hip bone. My dad sustained the worse injury of the two. With brain damage and a broken nose, seven broken ribs, a dislocated hip, two broken hips, and the bone just above his knee fractured. My husband spent 3 days in the hospital and was released with instructions not to put any pressure on his left leg. My dad was in the ICU for six days, had to have both hips surgically put back together, each hip took six to eight hours of surgery to repair. Then he spent four says on the orthopedic floor, then was moved to a rehab center where they discovered the brain damage and then they have moved him to a rehab that can better handle his injuries. He won’t be able to come home for several months, and even then he has to start the long process of learning how to walk again.
In the two and almost half years that my husband and I have been married, we have had our problems, as all married couples do. But the one that is reoccurring is that my husbands family has been rude (showing up without notice, coming into our house, making themselves at home and leaving me with a mess, planning and inviting the whole family over to my house and not bothering to tell me about it until a day before, or even ask if they can plan family events at our house) so this last month I’ve been dealing with a lot, being pregnant, working two jobs, caring for a laid up husband, and pulling extra responsibility at the church to help cover my dads responsibilities (my dad is a pastor) and dealing with insurance and lawyer things. Well my husband expressed a desire to have a traditional thanksgiving dinner (anyone who has cooked one of these knows how much work it is) I told him that wasn’t going to happen, because we didn’t have the money and I didn’t have the time. Well of course my laid up husband tells his mom about this, and she comes down with all the stuff to make a traditional thanksgiving dinner, which of course I’m expecting to cook, because well let’s face it my husband can’t do it. So here I am feeling a bit passive aggressively bullied by his mom (not for the first time mind you) and my husband doesn’t know why I’m upset, because his mom was just being nice. She might be just being nice to her son, but she didn’t think one jot about her pregnant over worked daughter in law before she swooped in to save the day. It’s not that I don’t appreciate someone trying to help out with things, I really do appreciate help. But this doesn’t feel like help, this feels like his mom making sure I treat her baby boy the way he deserves. Oh and I forgot to mention another part to this story so after she delivers the food, she informs (not asks, just informs) us that she will be coming down thanksgiving day and spending the night with us, not to help cook, she doesn’t plan on doing any cooking down here, just to visit her boy. Anyone else think that she’s coming down to make sure that I comply and cook her son a traditional thanksgiving dinner? That’s how it feels to me. I expressed my feelings about this to my husband and he doesn’t believe that his “sweet little” mama is doing that. But let’s face it, no matter if I cook the dinner or not, her son will not be at fault, it will be my fault.
So this year I have a lot to be thankful for, a little life growing inside me, my husband and my father are alive and will be able to recover from their injuries, I have faith in God and a supportive church family, I have a roof over my head and heat and food, and what I think I’m most grateful for is that the holiday season doesn’t last forever and I won’t have to see my in-laws for a long while after its over.
P.S. please be good to your family and friends this holiday season, you never know when it will be the last time you see, or speak to them.