The Husband Test.

Becca Jenne
Aug 26, 2017 · 5 min read

I married a man who loves me, and is kind, and even thoughtful at times. He works hard and makes sure the bills are paid and we have enough money left over for food. But for all his good, even great qualities, he has some bad qualities as well. He is thick headed, when it comes to some things that I have always considered common sense. And many times even though I tell him something, he won’t believe me, nor act on it until his mom or dad says the same thing. It’s a tad frustrating, to say the least. So I was talking with my best friend (Scott Harling) last night and as a joke, I made up a husband question, that led to another husband question, and then my friend said I had to make a full test. So here you go, it’s the Husband Test.

  1. Your wife is quiet and a little down do you: A) leave her alone. B) keep asking if she’s okay. C) offer to get her, her favorite drink, and talk about it. D) watch t.v. and hope she feels better tomorrow.
  2. Your wife and mother disagree on something do you: A) side with your mom (I mean she gave you life right?) B) side with neither and let them hate each other. C) side with neither and hope they work it out. D) side with your wife (you know you have to live with her and eat her cooking, so let’s not get poisoned)
  3. Your wife cooks a wonderful meal do you: A) compliment her cooking and then go watch t.v. B) burp, sigh contentedly, and pat your stomach before going to play video games. C) make her, her favorite drink, and compliment her cooking. D) thank her for the meal, and offer to do the dishes.
  4. Wife is to home as: A) cheese is to mouse. B) boss is to cubicle. C) queen is to castle. D) dog is to yard.
  5. Hair is to drain as: A) ticks are to dog. B) fleas are to cat. C) pet hair is to furniture. D) spit is to face. Or E) clean it up you fool.
  6. Laundry is to basket as: A) milk is to fridge. B) book is to bookshelf. C) dishes are to cupboard. D) food is to mouth. Or E) put it where it belongs, or else!
  7. A good husband….. A) takes his wife out all the time. B) buys her expensive things every week. C) has the latest of everything. D) pays the bills on time.
  8. Given the choice would you rather: A) have a million dollars and die alone in six months. B) work hard and have a happy marriage. C) discover the cure for cancer, but come down with incurable leprosy.
  9. Commitment means: A) developing a habit you don’t want to break. B) saving every play boy you ever got since you were 15. C) deciding to love one person forever. D) never washing your sheets.
  10. Children are: A) a nuisance. B) a blessing. C) someone I can teach all my bad habits too. D) a little human that I am responsible for and need to raise right.
  11. A man’s home is his castle means: A) the wife must serve him. B) the children must serve him. C) hire a maid. D) take care of your belongings and home.
  12. Responsibilities are: A) horrible and should be avoided. B) part of life. C) what? I just want to have fun. D) my privilege to carry for my wife and kids.
  13. Wife calls to say she’s going to be late from work do you: A) watch t.v. till she comes and gripe about how hungry you are. B) go outside and fiddle around in the garage or yard. C) lift weights and get buff. D) start to cook dinner so your wife can relax when she gets home.
  14. Your wife tells you that she’s pregnant do you: A) quickly call your parents to boast about how much of a stud you are. B) see how your wife feels about spreading the news. C) keep repeating “oh sh*t” over and over again. D) question your wife’s ability to pee on the stick right.
  15. When a bachelor becomes a husband he should: A) maintain personal hygiene. B) give dog weekly or bi-weekly bath. C) clean up after himself. D) help with household chores. E) all of the above.
  16. Wife wants to repaint or redecorate, the correct response is: A) do we have too? B) pick a manly color. C) yes dear! D) sure, pick out what you like and we will find a Saturday to do it.
  17. Your wife is crying in the middle of the night do you: A) pretend to keep sleeping. B) keep asking what is wrong. C) cover your head with a pillow. D) hold her until she feels better or goes to sleep.
  18. Wife wants to decorate the nursery, and asks your opinion do you: A) insist on dirt bike theme. B) say no clowns. C) let her decide. D) help her pick a gender neutral theme so you only have to decorate it once.
  19. When you tell your wife you will do something do you: A) promptly do it. B) wait till the last minute. C) wait till she reminds you. D) hope she forgets about it.
  20. Your parents and cousins are constantly stopping by unannounced and making themselves at home while you and your wife are at work, and your wife is bothered by this do you: A) ignore it, she will get used to it. B) change the locks on the house. C) explain to your family that this is not polite nor going to be tolerated. D) side with your family.
  21. Your wife cooks a meal you have never had before do you: A) say you know I’m not going to eat that. B) say ewww what is that? C) try it and make faces like a 2 year old. D) be a grown up and eat it and thank her for the meal.
  22. Your wife is in labor, do you: A) invite the whole family to be there. B) let family know that the baby is coming, but that you will let them know when baby and mom are up for visitors. C) spend time in the lobby. D) panic and pass out.
  23. You and your wife always go to church, and have made it a priority in your lives, and your family only wants to visit you on Sundays do you: A) explain to them that you have previous plans. B) say sure I’ll skip church. C) tell them that are welcome to join you and your wife at church. D) let them know that church is very important to you and your wife and that you would love to see them some other time.
  24. Your wife likes to keep a spotless house,and is visiting family for the weekend, do you: A) live it up. B) go back to your bachelor ways. C) actually clean up after yourself, so your wife doesn’t come home to a mess. D) invite your cousins over and trash the place.
  25. What is the one rule of thumb you should always follow in your marriage: A) my way or the highway. B) eat drink and be merry. C) happy wife happy life. D) I don’t know, I’ll ask my mom.

There it is people, the husband test. All of these situations come from my own life and marriage, and believe me, my husband has not passed this test with flying colors, actually there are a few we are still arguing over. But if your a guy and you answer any in a selfish manner, perhaps you are not ready to be married. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did putting it together.

)

Becca Jenne

Written by

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade