Rebi the Bipolar Bear

Hi there. I’m Rebi. I have Bipolar Disorder II with Rapid Cycling and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. What does that mean? That I’m a freaking mess (some of the time).

It took 18 years to be properly diagnosed with BP. The 18 years leading up to a proper diagnosis have been absolute hell. I’ve been in a deep, dark hole. I’ve lost jobs, been hospitalized, and destroyed really great relationships with friends and family.

I’ve learned that it’s common that a diagnosis can take this long for those living with Bipolar Disorder. Now that I have my diagnosis, I can move forward and fight the monster. My goal is to be well enough that I can help others fight the BP monster as well.

Bipolar Disorder sucks. It’s like amplified uncontrollable feelings without a filter. It’s wanting to move and start over all of the time. It’s wanting to spend all my money on ridiculous things or just steal them because, why not? It’s like being a completely different person sometimes. It’s treating your family like crap.

At the other end of the spectrum, it’s feeling like you’re on top of the world. You’re the greatest thing ever and everyone is beneath you. You are the most creative. You can do anything. Your house is clean. You have so much energy. You don’t need sleep. Sleep is for bums.

This is my life.

Through regular visits to a therapist, psychiatrist, and medication, I am finding my new self. I am learning how to be an adult and survive in this world as a productive member of society. Right now, I feel good. I feel normal, but that isn’t always the case. I’m hoping that by writing about my journey, I can continue to be an advocate for mental health and help others get out of that bottomless pit and see that there is hope for us all.

~Rebi