Domestic Violence: The Secret That Kills 3 Women a Day

The times they are a changing. Back in the 1960's doctors called domestic violence “violent, temporary therapy”. In the 70's it was believed to be a “simple family matter”. Fast forward fifty plus years, and reality is going to be slapping some in the face.

States are no longer playing around. They are no longer waiting to follow suit. They are taking it upon themselves to make a change one state at a time. Some states are going to take a closer look at the degree of injury and bodily harm to victims to determine punishment. They also plan to add domestic violence education to the state curriculum. South Carolina passed an Act under which penalties applied to offenders will be based on a new category system. This system has first, second and third degrees for offenses based on degree of injury, number of occurrences and possible aggravating circumstances. In addition this Act extends the time for a bond hearing to allow the judge time to gather information; creates a Domestic ViolenceAdvisory Committee comprising state agencies that would make recommendations to the General Assembly; sets up a Batter’s Treatment Program; and allows the courts to study a voucher system for child care to allow the victim to appear in court. All great solutions in my opinion!

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I personally am beyond ready for new measures to take effect. Victims have been silenced for far to long. Whether these victims fear their lives, losing thier financial security, or possibly losing their children. Something must be done to give these victims their voice back. Victims must know there is help. It goes beyond laws being in place. These laws must be upheld. Our police and judicial system needs to follow through, and show these people there is help and support.

On a typical day in America as many as 3 women are killed by there significant other. Can we trust the statistics?Many analyst maintain that domestic violence statistics can be deceptive because so many victims never report the abuse. Domestic violence victims often face the impossible choice between physical safety and financial security. State intervention can offer some protection to victims, but enlisting the criminal justice system through reporting domestic violence or restraining order violations can have drastic financial consequence. Involving the state is likely to lead to sanction for the abuser that would ultimately deprive the victim of child support, alimony, and other financial support which may be the totality of the victims financial resources. To avoid this result, many victims refuse to enforce court orders intended to maximize their safety. Some victims feel as though they must “choose” between physical safety and financial stability. There has to be some kind of support for these victims. They need to know they can have a roof over their heads, food on their tables, and some kind of job placement. They don’t need to continue to live in fear of what that day holds for them.

When someone isn’t treating you right, no matter how much you love them, you’ve got to love yourself more and walk away

Walking away is easier said then done. I get that. I was married for sixteen years, and was the victim of abuse for most of those years. Unless your in the situation, you can’t honestly say what you would do. I consider myself a very strong women. What made me stay all those years, I’m not really sure of. The real sad part is he ended up leaving me, I didn’t even love myself enough to walk away from him. Looking back ,I’m very discouraged with myself. I feel as though all those years were wasted. I am so much happier now. The fear of hearing his car pull in the drive has escaped me. Walking on egg shells daily is a thing of the past.

The Ohio law states that if the police are called to your home for a domestic dispute, that one of the participates are to be arrested. In my case , the police was called several times by witnesses, but my now ex husband was never arrested. I can’t help but to think back and wonder if I’d had a voice just one of those times that the police were called,or if the officer would have followed through with the law, that maybe so many years wouldn’t have been wasted.

Its time. Across the board, all fifty states need to be on the same scale, the same system with handling domestic violence. Not only with harsher punishments, but a legal system willing to enforce the laws that have been created.

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