A familiar tale

Divorce is common, far too common. I forget how common it is. My parents divorced when I was 11 and it took almost 20 years to fully recover from it. You don’t realize the impact it has on you as a child — at first, you claim it doesn’t bother you, you repress it. Then you have a hard time connecting with others, most of all, trusting people. You have difficulty in friendships, fear abandonment, lack of confidence and romantic relationships fail time and time again. Not to mention the anger you carry toward your parents and those they date. The jealousy that you feel when you don’t seem to have what you thought was good before the divorce. It took me years of therapy and growth to finally come to a place where I could have a healthy relationship. Today is day 16 of my new marriage with a man I am lucky to call my husband. To have finally recovered from this common occurrence — divorce — deserves a huge pat on the back. I understand that some are still recovering or are even just at the beginning of that long, hard road.

Now, I am sitting next to these two adorable girls (Age 6 and 10) on a flight from Austin to San Diego beginning their road. I can’t help but over hear their conversation about their own experience with divorce. They were two perfect strangers, but now friends bound by a common story. Both traveling alone to visit parents, both comment about how they wish things were different, both reciting things that parents too often tell them that they hope is true. “Sometime change is good”, I hear the older one say to the other, hoping to console the younger who wishes that her parents weren’t divorced. I want to tell them that there is a light on the other side, and that one day, everything will be ok if you just be kind to yourself, others and always be true to yourself.

The younger one asks me what I am writing, I guess I might have a chance to tell them!

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