June 2021
Sometimes
solitude
doesn’t
feel as good as
swimming in summer.
there are still
deadlines
and dogs.
sometimes it looks like
finally facing
all your fears,
fuckups,
and consequences of your fearlessness.
sometimes it looks like
the spiral of evolvement,
like Seddy walking
in smaller and
smaller
circles
at night,
so that she can finally pee, in the second smallest circle.
Actual, real-big-change is like those circles Seddy makes.
sometimes solitude is sad.
and ugly.
and feeling ugly. and sick.
and wondering if you suck at solitude.
the second night of solitude
is not the selfcare daydream
of feel-good-in-your-soulness.
but it is a start.
