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Currently it is ‘trendy’ to have minimal pubic hair (especially for people with vaginas and vulvas) — this has become a fashion. It is very normal to see vulvas in the media without a smidge of pubic hair, to some people it may seem alien to consider keeping it.

In an NHS survey 59% of women said they groomed their pubic region because they believed this was more hygienic.

However pubic hair has a purpose (well a few purposes actually).

Pubic hair serves as padding against friction — in sex from skin on skin contact and also against clothes.

It regulates the temperature of the genitals. …

Boundaries are a hot topic at the moment (and so they should be). Huge amounts of growth and transformation has stemmed for the me2 movement! There has been many conversations around putting boundaries down in sexual experiences which is fantastic. I believe we should continue this conversation and also include discussions around setting boundaries in every day life.

Have you ever been invited Somewhere — not really wanted to go but felt guilty about saying no? Have you had someone texting and calling you — who you are not interested in but don’t want to feel mean by putting your foot down? …

May is masturbation month woohoo! As a sex therapist I encourage a solo sex practise as masturbation is actually really good for you.

For people with penises having a sexual experience twice per week can lower the risk of a heart attack by 50% it does this by keeping the oestrogen and testosterone hormones balanced. It’s also said that frequent ejaculation can lower the chances of getting prostate cancer.

For people with vaginas and vulvas having frequent sexual experiences sends blood flow to the vagina and vulva which then thickens the vagina walls which helps to keep the vagina healthy. …

In my previous post I spoke about arousal non concordance for people with vaginas and vulvas and how this affects lubrication. So if this post interests you, you might find it useful to read the previous one first.

Many people with penises will experience some kind of sexual performance anxiety in their life. What often happens is when one sexual experience doesn’t go exactly as planned, perhaps the person with a penis has had too many drinks and therefore struggles with maintaining an erection. …

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People with vaginas and vulvas might have had experiences of arousal yet their vagina/vulva doesn’t produce lubrication — or the opposite, they might not feel aroused at all however their body reacts as if they were by producing lubrication. This is called arousal non concordance.

This can be a confusing and upsetting experience as they are unsure why their body is reacting in this way — just know that this is completely normal. …

There are two types of desire that people can experience. Typically people have a preference of one over their life time (when I say preference I do not mean this is a cognitive choice) however the way you respond to desire sometimes changes with different life experiences and stages.

What this means is:

People with spontaneous desire are the people who might randomly feel sexual energy in their genitals, they might have sex when they are stressed to relieve their stress, they are more likely to initiate a sexual experience and are likely to think about sex out of the blue. …

Attachment theory is the theory concerning relationships between humans. Our attachment styles are usually set between being born and age 3 however factors in older childhood can also affect our attachment style in adult life. Your attachment style in life represents how you attached to a primary caregiver in those young years.

The 4 attachment styles are below:

Secure — These are people who are relaxed, they trust their partners and have little relationship worries.

Avoidant — These are people who tend to push people away, in relationships they might not call back and the closer another person gets the more they withdraw. …

Generational trauma is the process of trauma being passed down through generations. This is with us since birth and is within our DNA. Simply put — life events can change the way our DNA is expressed which then passes this changed DNA on to our children and grandchildren.

This could be an explanation as to why we have seemingly irrational worries/concerns about something specific but don’t know why.

If a pregnant mother experiences something upsetting/traumatic or is under a lot of stress that will also be passed onto the child. The child has the experience imbedded into their unconscious memory. Children who were in the womb during a famine in world war 2 carried a specific chemical mark on one of their genes. …

The media will have us believe that vulvas need to be cleaned, there is a whole industry of washes, sprays, mists, lotions deodorants and oils. Some are sold with the pretence that it’s good for us and balance our PH levels. This is simply incorrect. Most of these advertisements will go alongside a saying of “want to be clean for him” or “get rid of smells” — this industry is feeding on shaming women, making women believe there is something they need to change and then selling it to them.

The vulva can be washed with plain water — no soap, water is all it needs. By using any products, even (and especially) ones made for this area will aggravate us and can give us thrush or BV. …

The clitoris is the only part of the human body made purely for pleasure. What most people think of as their clitoris is actually only about 1/4 of it. The clitoris is made up of; The glans — this is what you can see, it is the small tip of the clitoris and has 8,000 nerve endings. The hood — This is where 2 folds of the inner labia meet and form a protective hood over the glans. The Corpus Cavernosum — 2 Spongey erectile tissues that are connected to the glans. The Crura — The Corpus Cavernosum extend into 2 legs either side of the vagina. …


Becky Crepsley-Fox

Becky is a trainee Sexologist and Psychotherapist. She is a Yoga and Acroyoga teacher as well as a Tantra facilitator and NLP therapist.

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