The Times In Between
There are times when the trajectory of your life pleases you,
and the movement feels good under your feet,
and the just beyond feels full of promise,
as if you could hold it like a trophy of goodness,
that you’ve earned through your patience and hard work.
And in that moment all of your suffering feels worth it.
There are times when it feels like you’re basking in the sunshine of good graces,
like floating on the Hawaiian ocean as the sun sets,
or glowing in the love of family gathered ‘round,
or relaxing by a poolside on a not too hot day.
And then there are the times in between.
The times that feel like a perpetual Monday morning,
when the party is over and now you’re hungover.
And you’ve somehow managed to trudge your body to work, where your head feels like a ninety pound weigh on your tired shoulders,
and your required eight hours feels like a planetary eternity.
Those times when it feels as if your friends have all abandoned you. Or, they’re off having fun without you, and you’re left home minding the baby.
Those times when you look in the mirror and feel so old, and you wonder when did this happen?
And then you realize that it will only get worse.
Your eyesight will continue to degenerate and your teeth will grind to nubs,
and your body will continue to shrink into nothingness, with the exception of your feet and your nose —
which will continue to grow larger.
These are the things that you think about, in
the times in between.