Monsters in the Park

As a child I imagined monsters. I imagined damsels. And I imagined fighting one to save the other. There was only one place were such a scene could unfold. The park. It was the ultimate playground that offered unlimited adventure and a natural extension to dreams. A physical canvas for art that would have been otherwise constrained to imagination.

I was lucky enough to have a park at the end of the street where I lived out my childhood years. Just down the end of the street could feel far away though. You see, my mother could control the distance with the threat of chores or a question about homework. An act of cruelty disguised as parenting. How dare she keep me trapped? Didn't she know the damsel was in trouble? Homework? Chores? …. My mothers priorities have always been questionable.

She couldn't constrain me forever though. If I did the chores and showed her exercise pads full of sums and spelling she would have no grounds on which she could dismiss a request for adventure. She would have to let me go. Hold on damsel. I’m coming. She had one more tool in her anti-adventure toolbox though. Dinner. I would have to be back for dinner. Monsters to fight and she was thinking about food. Priorities, mum. Priorities.

I remember on one particular day that it was long division standing between me and glorious, damsel winning battle. After what seemed like hours of negotiating with the answers in the back of the book I had convinced my mother that I understood it and so was released to the adventure that awaited. It couldn't have been more than five minutes between closing the book and arriving at the park.

There was no time to waste. The division distraction had left me with perhaps an hour of sunlight left. And I had to back for dinner. Ridiculous.

So I hurriedly prepared for the fight to come. I sharpened my sword and donned my armor. It shone with a righteousness befitting a monster slaying, damsel saving hero. And it begun.

We fought across fields and mountains. Battled in the playground city. And as darkness approached I emerged victorious. I had slayed the beast. Just in time too. All that was left was to escort the damsel from the dark forest where the monster had imprisoned her. That was always were the monsters put her. Not very imaginative of them I thought.

I knew there probably wasn't time for the last part of the quest. I knew that the table was being set, dad was arriving home and mum was getting angry. But there was no way I just went through that ordeal to not finish the job and get the girl. I’m sure dad, at least, would understand. So I entered the dark forest and headed towards the monsters lair.

At the entrance to the lair things took an unexpected turn. I was greeted with a sight that looked out of place in a magical forest that held monsters lairs and damsels in distress. A man.

He was a very friendly man and he asked me about what I was doing. I explained the ordeal I had just been through and the lair that lay just beyond where he stood. Truth be told, I was glad to have someone to talk to that seemed to appreciate my bravery.

But it was a trick.

It was not a man. It was another monster. One more cunning and evil than any I had ever faced before. It acted like a friend but all it wanted was your destruction. It didn't want to kill you. It wanted to destroy you. It wanted to leave you incapable of ever saving or loving a damsel again. It fought to kill your happiness but leave you alive without it.

It looked like a man and acted like a friend and had a strange way of doing battle. You would be lured in with words and assurances. A silk tongue talking to your ego and feigning interest in your tale. It would get you in close with words and once you removed your armor it would strike you in your soul. A peculiar attack that left you unharmed and fatally wounded at the same time.

This monster was unbeatable. And he destroyed me. I left the park that day defeated for the first time. Defeated forever. I left my armor on the floor of the dark forest. The monster has it now. A trophy. A reminder of his victory that day.

When I arrived home I was in trouble. It was well past dark and dinner was cold. The monster had told me my parents would be angry. He was right. Late for dinner and no damsel to show for it. Pathetic.

After that day homework never seemed so bad. There was no need to rush chores.

I was never late for dinner again.