It’s easy to become uncertain about who we are when the world continues to give us different ideas of who we should be and what we should be doing. Social media gives us front row seats to view people’s lives and provides us with unlimited access to a plethora of information that we may not necessarily willingly lookup. No wonder it has now become easy to get sucked into a world of self-doubt, comparison, anxiety and low self-esteem. There’s always the decision to turn it all off, delete all accounts and stay disconnected for good but if you work in an industry where social platforms play a significant role, it becomes quite impossible to choose this route. So how do we find the balance between staying plugged in and unplugged when necessary? The answer to maintaining a healthy relationship with social media is by being intentional.
Social media. What comes to mind when you read these words? How would you describe your relationship with it? Do you feel comfortable with the way you interact with it? Are you intentional about your social media use? Take a minute or two to reflect on these questions. On being intentional: Intention is a mental state; it’s all about guiding ourselves to consciously and well, intentionally do certain things; in other words, on purpose. By being intentional, it means slowing down and being deliberate in the moments of decision making. Relating this to social media, it means slowing down, choosing what we consume, being mindful of who or what we follow and being active and not passive users. In this context, being an active user means taking charge of usage, while being passive means being submissive to these platforms.
The first and very crucial step is to know yourself. Although this isn’t necessarily a step-by-step guide, the practice of getting to know yourself is one that requires mentioning at this point. We’ve all heard the famous “find yourself”, but I’ll also suggest that you “create yourself”. Spend time with yourself, away from the noise to deeply reflect on your values. What are the things you like? What are those you dislike? While making this list, try to identify areas that are affected by what you’ve consumed in the media. Question why you like or dislike these things you’ve listed. What’s the origin of these values? Upbringing? Experience? Social media content? Once you’ve listed and identified these, there’s clarity that comes with knowing the source of things you’ve considered your values for the longest time. It helps you distinguish your ‘real’ values from those that have been distractions in your life.
Jay Shetty once said, “When we fill up our lives and leave ourselves no room to reflect, those distractions become our values by default”. When we leave no room to reflect, we become consumed by other people’s value systems, ideas of success and personal goals. The consequence of this is feeling dissatisfied with our lives, feeling lost and even confused when we haven’t achieved what these people have at certain life stages. The craziest thing is, these may not even align with our personal goals; however, the unconscious consumption leads to the belief they align. When you take time to reflect and to understand yourself and your goals, it empowers you and puts you in the driver’s seat even in a world of passive consumption.
When it comes to daily usage of social media, intentionality plays a significant role. We’re in a world where people open social sites and scroll endlessly, aimlessly, consuming content that can be damaging; this is why choosing to pause and understand the benefit of these platforms to you is important. A simple practice of voicing (mentally or even out to yourself) the reason you’re opening an app before actually opening it is a significant step to intentional use, which also helps to curb passive use and puts you in charge of how you spend your time. So if you want to open an app to send or respond to a message and immediately get back to whatever you were doing, tell yourself you’re doing just that. It helps to train the mind and creates a sense of control. A simple practice: “I am opening {insert app name} just to respond to this message from {insert name}”.
I’ll leave you with these two final points:
-“Social media will have you anxious over things you don’t even want. Chasing ideas of success you don’t even believe in. Be careful getting swept up on goals that aren’t yours.” — Kaya Nova. A tweet I came across, which further inspired the creation of this piece.
-Remember that even in moments where it feels like you’re slacking or you’ve taken steps back, being able to recognise those moments is your power because then, you can make that mindful choice to do what’s best for you. Be intentional about creating time to unplug from the screens so you can replug to yourself and your reality. Your journey is yours; embrace it, enjoy it, learn from it.
