As long as it does not kill you…
What if I never resisted fear?
What would have happened of me?
Where would I be today?
A few minutes ago I was preparing to travel across the continent in a few hours and these three questions popped in my head. What if I gave in to resistance each and every time I started being afraid of doing something? One thing for sure, I would not have been writing this post tonight.
I used to be afraid. Of everything. All the time. The unknown scared me as hell. When I say “unknown”, please don’t think about unexplored parts of the world. A fruit specie I don’t know is part of THE unknown to me. Even today I cling to stuff to feel secure. For example, it is difficult for me to throw away things. I cling to them.
As I am writing this, I can see the box my phone came in almost a year ago here in my room. I should throw it away… but… it’s a pretty box. Useless, but pretty. I won’t throw it away. Same for the box of my previous phone. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a hoarder. I just love to keep with me cute little things.
I am digressing. Let’s get back to not being afraid.
Life is happening out of your comfort zone.
I used to laugh out loud every time I saw this sentence on social media, until I tried. It took one tweet, only one. I tagged someone I looked up to. To tell you the truth I was afraid doing that. The guy never heard of me. He is a celebrity in his domain. I was like “What if he gets mad at me because I am mentioning him for something he surely does not even care about? What if he hates me after that? What if he blocks me?”
But I mentioned him anyway… and he immediately sent me an inbox to invite me to an event he was organising. The blogger I am today came to the world at that event. It triggered everything. What if I gave in to my fear and never posted that tweet? What would have happened of me? I think I know: I would have still be spending weeks in my bed eating potato chips, drinking coke and watching Nigerian movies one after the other.
Fear would have killed my potential as a story teller. Fear would have prevent me to even know I had that potential.
Today, less than a year after it all started, I can’t count the blessings because they are countless. A lot happened, stuff I could not even dare dreaming of. All because I told myself “Fuck it my dear, as long as it does not kill you…”
This is exactly what I want to tell all those who are giving in to resistance, all those who are afraid to try, to start something new or to leave behind something old : fuck it my dear, as long as it does not kill you…
Reach me on Ask.fm, I am ready to answer each and every question asked to me.
Hello, my name is Befoune, and I talk about citizen participation and empowerment in my country, Cameroon, on the platform Elle Citoyenne. My dear friend Tchassa Kamga and I created the publication Self-Ish to share our experience in self improvement, content creation and what we call human relationships.