Change, that thing that terrifies me!

If there is one thing I fear in this life, it is change.

I cling to habits. I go to the same places, eat the same things, hang out with the same persons, read on the same platforms… I hate going out of the house. I do only if I really have to. It’s been 4 days I did not leave the house. It is comfortable here. I like it here. I know it here.

Strange right?

Not for someone who is afraid of change. Change for me seems like my world is falling apart. I had a mini-argument with the father of Self-Ish, Tchassa Kamga, over recent changes on Medium.

He came to me so happy to tell me about the goodies Medium added: sounds, series, videos and all the doors these changes were opening for our publication. I told him the truth. Except that I was harsh.

I am harsh when I feel not in control. My significant other can tell you more about that. I wonder how he never poured water on my face for all the things I said to him… Anyway, let’s not digress!

Tchassa Kamga came to me about the tremendous changes on Medium and I told him the truth. Since Medium started adding features making the platform “different”, I stopped liking it. I stopped reading on it. I just write, publish and go. I didn’t like the fact that my home page was different. I didn’t get anything with all these series thing. I don’t like what I don’t get (currently working on that, read the post I shared just before this paragraph). I told him I was seriously thinking about leaving the platform.

He answered me the best way he could.


The fact that I was disappointed with his answer made me realize I didn’t want to quit Medium. I just needed to find my balance back. I needed to embrace that change, to accept that Medium was growing and leverage the growth the best way I could. It was not easy my people. But the Ok that guy gave me made me reconsider many things.

I went and explored. I even created my first series. It is about Key Words and SEO (let me brag about my Inbound Marketing certification a little bit and let you benefit from the knowldge my people!).

I discovered a new way to create content. New ways to create content and all the opportunities at hand. I discovered a whole new world. I even agreed to become a member on to be able to benefit from everything here on Medium and unleashing the human in different ways.

My people, good things are coming oh!

This “change” experience is not the only one I am going through at the moment. I did not give you any update about Elle Citoyenne lately right? Things are moving, but it was not that easy.

I like trying new things as long as they are in line with what I am doing. Let me explain. Elle Citoyenne content is diversified: articles on the website, sounds on SoundCloud and videos on the YouTube channel. Though I did not stick to only one way to create content, I got stuck with a limited vision.

When I created Elle Citoyenne I was all about Africa. I categorically refused to talk about stuff from another continent. The idea was to promote what was not and needed to be. Then I limited the vision to Central Africa (where I am from) and West Africa (where I spend the majority of my time). I virtually never went beyond the boundaries of these regions. It was ok, there was a lot to say about these places and what happened there.

Then I went to Paris last February to see with my own eyes what citizens were doing there for their communities. And I was amazed. I wanted to talk about what I saw and what I thought of it. But I never did. Why? Because it meant changing what I was doing. It meant opening up to NEW things. It meant going astray from the path I chose.

What I never considered was it also meant growth, evolution, promoting more initiatives by citizens for citizens, reaching more people, inspiring people with what was done elsewhere… it meant opening up to the world.

But I said no. It was different. Difference means change and I did not want to change. So I never talked about those inspiring and amazing stuff I saw and experienced in Paris. Never.

Lately I have been thinking about how to add more value with my content. That Inbound Marketing certification opened my eyes to new areas to explore, new things to do. The reflection was ok when it was about enhancing what I am currently doing, but I am telling you, my brain diverted each and every time I was trying to think about implementing anything new.

My brain went to Elle Citoyenne to a book I wanted to read, to ice-cream, to Attack of Titans, to anything you want, but it prevented me to think about NOVELTY. It was like a defense mechanism.

I knew I had to change to grow and evolve, but I just couldn’t. What if. I did not know what was on the other side so why not keep on doing what I was already doing? It was ok, so why change?

Then I said fuck it, either I improve or I stop everything since it was becoming boring to do the same things and I really NEEDED to add more value.

So I started trying new things. I created an account on Storify a platform I refused to use because… I never did before. This thing can save your life when you don’t have ideas for new content or you do not have enough time to create new content from scratch!

I deleted the account on LinkedIn because it was useless, but I was clinging to it because it already existed. And I was used to it. I kept on wasting time publishing there though I did not get any traffic from there. Life!

I created an account on Medium to share articles more specialized, those educating about “all things civics” only.

Go and follow, you may learn stuff that convince you to take action. I published the first article there about an hour ago, an article I created on storify in the first place. It was not meant for Medium, then I thought… why not? It is about Civic Tech, a topic I love but never talked about because… it was different from what I used to share on the website despite it is central to new forms of citizen participation.

I am currently working on a whole new section, educating on citizen participation in every aspect. The most interesting thing is how much I am going to learn while creating content for that section!

Elle Citoyenne is growing. I am growing with it. I let go of some stuff I was desperately clinging to and I embrace change. It is not easy since I am afraid of change, but I have to if I want to move forward. Change is moving forward. Change is experiencing new things. Change is learning more through trials and errors.

Change is what I needed because everything around started to be very boring to me!

My dear, like the post if you enjoyed it!

Hello, my name is Befoune and I left my job to follow my dream!

I created the civic media Elle Citoyenne to promote Civic opinion and participation, and celebrate civic action in Africa. My dear friend Tchassa Kamga and I created the publication Self-Ish on Medium to document our lives as humans and share our experience in self improvement, content creation and what we call human relationships.