The day I stopped drinking coke…for the umpteenth time!
Everything is in the title. I stopped drinking Coke for the umpteenth time, and meeeeen I miss it.
I want Coke. Like, now. Like, always. Like, every day in my life. All I think of is drinking Coke, the pleasure when it goes through my throat, sparkling like crazy. Best. Feeling. Ever.
But, I had to stop. I drink approximately 2 bottles of 1,5l a day. No water naymore. Water is piss when Coke is around. For real. I stopped a week ago. Then, I went to a friend’s place and she offered me some. My mind was yelling NO-O NEVER. My mouth whispered “yes”. So, I drank .
My people! Heaven! Sparkles everywhere in my body.
Then, shame. I just gave in to temptation. It fell so great to the point that I told myself : “You already started, finish the bottle and cry later”. And that, my people, I did.
Sparkles Sparkles Sparkles. Life was breeze, sugar and everything.
I started thinking on my way back home. I put on a dress on that day (I do that once every 15 months). My stomach was so big under the dress, as if I was 3 months pregnant. I had not eaten anything since morning and it was almost 7 pm. And my stomach was that big. This, my people, despite: HIIT, cardio, pilates and yoga inspired stretching. My body was on point but my belly was big. Why?
BECAUSE OF THAT DAMN COKE!!!
If you read me often here on Self-Ish, then you already know what I am about to say:
It was not even about Coke, it was about my life!
It is funny how sometimes we work so hard for something in our life but cannot give up that single little thing that undermines all the efforts. Coke here is Coke undermining my efforts to work out. It is also all these little things I do that undermine my efforts to be the new (or next?) Oprah.
It is me sleeping late though I have stuff to do. It is me writing the perfect text and rushing out towards the end, ruining everything, because I want to go and chill on Twitter. It is me not reading on the fundamentals of politics for my class on Coursera because I stumbled on an article talking about Twitter bots and all I can think of is creating one (and I did my people! And I am so proud!! But I have to improve it for it to be perfect.).
It is me not doing what I have to do, but doing what I want to do.
The difference between “have” and “want” is SUCCESS. Doing what I want only makes me fail. I am failing hard. For effing real. I am failing because I forget that what we want is not always what we need. I want Coke, but I don’t need Coke. I wanted a bot, but I needed to read for my class. But, I didn’t. And now I am effing late. But I love that bot. And it does not matter because I am still late for something very, VERY important for me to thrive.
It was just like when I started blogging. I am in love with writing. I started blogging because I wanted to write about everything. That’s why I write on Elle Citoyenne, here on Self-Ish, on my other account on Medium, and on various other platforms as a guest blogger. It was all about that. Writing.
I did not want to learn about extensions and website backups and wordpress and CSS and wordpress themes… I did not want to get a certification in Inbound Marketing to be able to write the best way to promote a vision. I did not want to get a certification in Content Management to learn about storytelling. I did not want to read several documents on citizens’ participation and take a class on Coursera on Politics. I did not want to buy an expensive camera and learn how to film documentaries. I did not want to learn about what to do to thrive on social media. I did not want to read on SEO and get familiar with XML Maps. I did not want to read on oil price to know why my country just got a 666,2 millions Euro loan from the IMF.
I wanted to write. Period.
But one has to write well and write meaningful stuff. One has to diversify the kind of content they produce not to be boring. One has to host that content on a safe and good and user friendly platform. One has to promote that content on Social Media for people to see it.
Even if one does not want all that, one needs all that. Writing is not enough to write. Nope.
I need all these things to be able to do what I want. But I must admit I am addicted to knowledge so… I can’t complain.
I will have to stop here. My HIIT routine is waiting for me. Let’s talk some other time.
What you guys should take with you after reading this:
what we want can sometimes be the worst thing for us. What we need is way more important.
I took the time to tell you my story, you took the time to read it. I am so grateful for that! I’ll be even more grateful if you could take the time to hit the heart and share it too :)
Hello, my name is Befoune and I left my job to follow my dream!
I created the citizen media Elle Citoyenne to promote Citizens’ opinion and participation, and celebrate citizens’ actions for their communities in Africa and across the world. My dear friend Tchassa Kamga and I created the publicationSelf-Ish on Medium to document our lives as humans and share our experience in self improvement, content creation and what we call human relationships.
