Ok, so You Suffer From the Impostor Syndrome… Now What?

This is a four-part series we’re calling “The Impostor Syndrome.” If you are new here, welcome! You can read part one here, part two here, and part three here.

If… not if, WHEN… the impostor syndrome comes around to wreak havoc in your life or work, don’t kick it out. Invite it in for tea.

After all, that’s what the Buddha did with the demon, Mara.

One day, Buddha was teaching a large group, and Mara was moving around the edges, looking for a way in. One of Buddha’s attendants saw Mara, ran to Buddha, and warned him of Mara’s presence. Hearing his attendant’s frantic warning, the Buddha simply replied, “Oh good, invite her in for tea.”

I love this story because it captures beautifully how we should respond to the impostor syndrome. We know what the feeling is called. We know others suffer from it. We know a little bit about why we feel this way.

Well, now we know how to handle it: invite it in.

You see, just because the impostor syndrome is scary doesn’t mean it’s bad, or something to run from.

After years and years of experiencing it, I’ve learned to think of it as a friend. Just like Pavlov’s dogs, I’ve learned to associate the fear caused by the impostor syndrome with something very very good: important and exciting work.

“Carl,” I remind myself, “you always feel this way before you do something really cool, big, exciting, and meaningful.” The impostor syndrome is just like the butterflies I get in my stomach before a big mountain bike race, the nervous feeling that comes from looking at a huge audience that came to see me talk, or that giddy/scary cocktail of emotions that preceded the birth of each of my four children.

AKA, all the most awesome things I’ve ever done.

Considering that, shouldn’t this be something we want more of in our lives?! Turns out, the impostor syndrome isn’t a stop sign, it’s jet fuel.

Now, when I start to hear that voice in the back of my head saying “Carl, you don’t belong here.” I take a deep breath, pause for a minute, put a smile on my face and say, “Welcome back old friend. I’m glad you’re here. Now, let’s get to work.”

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