Jun 28, 2018
Trying to Work and Work Some More
Documenting my Life #20
Run of Death
It’s 10:30 in the morning on a hot summer’s day in Israel’s Judean Hills and I go on my daily run.
For the first 5 km or so I’m ok, going at a fairly brisk pace. On the way back, things kinda break down though. I’m running . along a highway and I can feel the hot sun through my hat and shades beating down on me in a way I havent yet experienced.
So far this summer, I’ve had some hot days but it’s been OK overall. As my conditioning’s improved, so too my ability to withstand the heat.
Well today, the heat’s getting the best of me.
At about 6.5 kilometres into my run, after trying to open up into a brisk pace for a kilometre, I start shutting down. I’m moving slowly and it’s hard to breath. Finally, I get to an intersection with a covered bus stop and aI scurry into it for cover from the hot sun.
Sweat is pouring down my face and I really feel like i’m kind of “melting” from the heat. I’m not really winded as much as the heat just overpowers me and compels me to take shelter.
I pocket call Raizel and half-jokingly ask her to come pick me up.
After about 15 minutes, 60 push-ups and some deep breathing, I make my way back out into the Land of the Big Hot Sun.
I’m on my way again slowly, just willing myself to go on despite the pain and the heat. I turn off my Strave, I don’t wanna remember this one — and I curse myself for the undisciplined eating of too much white bread and chumus and cheese the day before.
Diet seems to to me to be a factor in the poor reaction to this morning’s heat.
Oh my gosh, no more gluten I tell myself, no more breatd, no more sugar — anything to prevent this! I stumble my way home — moving as fast as I could to get out of the sun.
I get right into the cold shower, relief….I still ran about 8.5 kilometres — just far from my usual blistering pace.
We Signed
Yep, right when I got home from my run, we signed a lease for another year here in paradise, in Beit Shemesh.
It’s just so much easier not to move.
This might be a decision I regret. Maybe I’ll still change my my mind — but I don’t see so many overwhleming signs that we need to move NOW.
If we want, I’m sure we could find subletter in October/November.
I don’t like feeling like we need to move, like we’re under duress. It doesn’t lend itself to good decison making.
So let’s wait and breathe and see what happens.
Me and The Kids
These days a big source of my anxiety is the kids — Honestly, I dread the days they get home early from school. When I’m with them, I try giving them a lot of attention and being sensitive to to their needs.
I find this extremely draining.
I’d so much rather be doing work at 3–4 in the afternoon than shuttling them around and trying keep them from bashing eachother’s heads in.
I was doing the latter yesterday. Then at about 4pm I said I have to start to work. I tried doing some then I started dozing off in our little home office.
I try to be a good parent, but there’s a time for everything. This mid-to-slate afternoon slot is a rough one.
We need a beer run!
I hurry YM off the couch where he’s listening to an audiobook from YouTube (ha!). He’s the only one home.
Raizel took everyone else to the park to play in the sprinklers and then to kind of chug.
We go to the bank to pick some check-books. Now I realize I forgot the cash for the beer. I’m pretty certain that we have no chas in the bank for me to take out — so instead of going for beer I head to the car to go home. YM starts protesting — “I’m HUUUNNGRRYY.”
We’ll have to wait till we get home, I explain as calmly as I can. But he’s not having it.
I cut to straight to the chase:
“We don’t have any money!”
“Yes, we do — try to take out from the bank.”
It seems YM was in divination mode. B/c in fact, we circle back to the bank and I’m able to withdraw 100 shekels from my account.
I walk back to the car with a little more swagger now — I got the some cash in hand — always a good feeling!
I ask YM — “How did you know there would be money to take out”
He says “It was Ruach Hakodesh.”
Smart Kid
The beer and chips were enjoyed by all and they saved me from afternoon parenting meltdown. Now what are we gonna do Sunday — a fast day?
A Song Comes Together
I’ll end the blog today with some lyrics I wrote down yesterday for a song I’ve been working on.
This was the creative process I followed for the song.
- Came up with the hook randomly one afternoon months ago
- Jammed it with me playing the simultaneous kick and hi-hat
- Came up with the chorus vibe through the jam
- Wrote the lyrics
This seems like it could be a good model moving forward — is this my most important and essential work — I sure as hell hope so!
Anyways here are the lyrics:
Patience:
I been on a climb
With a goal in mind
But I’m in a bind
When it’s takin’
Too long to find
My kind
What I tell myself I need
Oh the war I’m waging
CUT ME IN TWO
GOT TOO MUCH TO DO
MY DREAMS FALL THROUGH
While I take care o’ you, Nothin new
So blue
***Standing on queue in my bedroom
As the world’s rotating
I think I want Too much
I keep chasing
It’s been so long
I find myself
Waiting
CHORUS:
Oh, when I’m on this road unavoidable obstacles
So, when I’m chasing that goal Ya I’ve gotta have patience.
Heaven is so near
But its outta reach
situations come back to haunt
Me in my day sleep
Like creeps
Claim they wanna know but they
Don’t really care
I got the only say here
I try to tell myself
That it’s ok
But I need high speed
This pace might make me crazy
Living now
Like I got
No history
Past and future’s
only a mystery
Agin’ working ’ re-creatin’
don’t look at me that way
I Got no reputation
Letting go
Going Slow
Flying high
Lying low
Sick of I always
Been’ Quiet
Let the music
Be my riot
And I know that I’m needing
a new light to
See my world in
But if It don’t shine today
I’ll smile and wait another day
CHORUS
If it’s too late
Should I call it quits
Maybe these delays
Are a
Sign that I’m unfit — go legit
I know what to do and my efforts true
Livin’ in a fantasy this is my reality
