Happy One Year Anniversary to Me and Canada.

Sometimes it terrifies me how time flies so fast. It’s been exactly a year since I moved to Canada, and it has felt like a couple of months. Even though time has zipped by, I can honestly say that this has been a meaningful year. Full of positives and negatives, but nevertheless very meaningful.

I left the comfort of my very easy and even posh life back in Europe, to follow love all the way across the ocean. In all honesty, Canada never appealed to me. I never thought of it as a prospect for the future. I'm a european girl at heart, and that’s where I belong.

I moved here on the 7 of May, 2014, and I remember it like yesterday. The arrival, the days leading up to my departure. It was heartbreaking. Even though I was the one that made the decision of moving here, I felt an obligation to do so, in some way. My parents didn't really want me to go, I didn't really want to go, but I thought that if I didn't make that leap, I would regret it and that fear of cutting the parental cord would paralyze me for the rest of my life.

So there I was packing my bags, crying so hard, you would have thought that I had just lost someone really close to me, and in hindsight that is how I felt. I know, it’s a bit dramatic, but its the truth. I tried to take mental pictures of everything in my old life and hope they would last forever. I was leaving the nest. Granted, it wasn't the first time, but it was the first time that I knew I couldn't just come back.

My parents told me, you can always come back, you will always have a home here, and as comforting as that sounds, I don't feel the same. I wish I could just go home, and fall back into the very situated existence i had, but I would feel like a failure. I knew that if I ever decided to go back, and I've thought of it often, I would have to accomplish something big. something like losing all the weight i had coming here, or getting permanent residency status, or making a lot of money, or filling up suitcases of things that i will buy for me and my family, or even just seeing Canada and the States.

So here we are now, living the Canadian life, with the pressure of accomplishment and fear of failure, very much self afflicted. As much of a struggle as I have felt to adjust and see the light in a very uncomfortable situation, I have strived to take those good days as a victory themselves. They aren't everyday, but when they come they give me a new perspective of my journey here.

To stay honest and strong about my journey, I will have posts in the next several days, about some of the most memorable moments, days, nights that I have spent in Canada. I think it’s a nice way to represent my Canadian experience and also remind me of the positive.

And to start it of, here is the first beautiful memory that I have in Canada, and it seems only fitting to post it right now. On the 8th of May, 2014, so 1 year ago tomorrow, my now husband, got on his knees and proposed to me in a small italian restaurant in Yorkville, Toronto.

It was something that I never expected of him, I must say he isn't the hopeless romantic, but as clumsy and funny as it was, it will always be a very special day for me.

Till next time ☺

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